9 Things You Absolutely Need During A Zombie Apocalypse

Dealing with a zombie apocalypse is no easy matter. There are logistics involved in surviving. Trying to find a good hiding place, a good survival spot or the right materials to help you along the way could easily become brain-wrecking. I mean, do you take your favorite pair of jeans and suede shoes or do you settle for sneakers and sweats? Do you bring the Cheez Whiz or do you carry some bologna and bread with you? Decision making is hard when you have to consider that the world is falling down around your ears and flesh-eating zombies are lurking around every corner, just like in AMC's The Walking Dead.

Whether you decide to stay put in a single place or venture about the war-torn wastelands of the flesh-munching undead, you can't go out there with just your bare hands and a pocketful of luck. You won't last but five minutes out there. Luckily, we've got a list of necessary items you might want to bring with you as you venture out and about during a zombie apocalypse.

Beef Jerky

Hey look, in the zombie apocalypse you can't afford to be picky. You need something fast and easy to eat. Even more than that, you need something that you can stock up on and nibble on while you're hiding under a burned down trailer home for a couple of nights while tucked neatly under a blue tarp. I mean, you can't go all high-class with Spam or Chef Boyardee ravioli. That stuff gets cold. Nope, you're going to have to pack for efficiency, and pack for chowing down whenever the moment allows for it. Oftentimes, this may be in places where cold storage or microwaves are inaccessible, sort of like in the movie The Road. I hope you like Slim Jims... Ohhh yeaaaaah.

Roll-up Tent

...With pegs. If you grab a tent you want to make sure it's something you can carry with you into the great unknown, or a few blocks down the street from an infested neighborhood full of yuppie zombie-stockbrokers who decided it was probably safe to stay in their luxurious homes with the lights on and their 60 inch plasma TVs blasting for all the rest of the world to see. It's a good thing you're a smarty-pants, because you were quick-witted enough to think about what to do when you have to sleep far and away from the comfort of a cozy bed. In such situations, the only thing that can help you (and provide a minor bit of convenience from the harsh outdoors) is a roll-up tent... with pegs. The reason you'll want a tent with pegs is because you can not only use them to secure your tent, but you can also pop some undead skulls if the time comes.

Matches

How many times have you read about, watched or witnessed someone in a zombie apocalypse, trapped in a dark room without any matches? Too often. How about being stuck out in the dark with little or no light whatsoever? How about finding a decent bit of food but having no way to cook it? Matches are about as essential in the zombie apocalypse as clean underwear when going to get a checkup at the doctor's office. You cook food with them, you light up dark areas with them and sometimes... sometimes, you have to put buildings on fire with them. I mean, if you need to make a great escape, there's nothing better than a burning shack in a forest, right? Matches, they're a life-saver in the zombie apocalypse.

Batteries

AA, AAA, rechargeable or anything else in between, always keeping a healthy amount of batteries in stock and on hand is detrimental for surviving in a zombie apocalypse. Why are batteries so important? Well, easy: you need flashlights right? I mean, you can't travel at night down dark and lonely roads without any light. You also need something to scavenge through dank and desolate basements of rundown and dilapidated houses. Also, when you a meet a guy with a red shirt who offers to check out that creepy looking mansion all by his lonesome, you'll need to be able to give him either your matches or your flashlight, so if you decide to give him your matches at least you'll still have batteries for either a flashlight, lantern or some other illuminating device. Additionally, you can use the batteries for walkie-talkies, or other short range communication devices. You always want to ensure that you're well-equipped and there's no better way to stay well-equipped than to keep a pack of batteries on you.

Leather Clothing

Bite-proof. That's the first thing that comes to mind with leather gear. You'll need to ensure that you're not getting bit here and there, up and down, left and right, or from anywhere else thanks to walkers hiding under broke down cars or shuffling from out of the dark spots of a nearby forest. Even if one of those pesky undead biters manage to teeth-sneak their way onto one of your limbs, you want to make sure that you're not exposed and easily infected. Make them work for their meal. Leather jacket, leather gloves, leather pants, leather boots. It may not be a style to your liking, but with a few cans of spray paint... you can make it work. Just to top it all off, you can grab a motorcycle helmet and keep your face-flesh safe from the walkers. Besides, leather is an easy enough clothing item to get your hands on; a lot easier than riot gear, anyway. (Image courtesy of Leatherbiker)

Survival Knife

Need to hot-wire a car? Need to unscrew something? Need to stab a zombie in the head? You can't survive out in the wild without an all-in-one survival knife. It's perfect for cooking animals you hunt, great for carving your name in trees to leave clues as to where you've been and it's perfect for picking the squirrel fur out of your teeth. A basic survival knife is an indispensable tool for making your way through the zombie apocalypse, and it's just one of those multi-functional items you'll want to keep close at all times. Besides, even if you can't fight well with the knife, you can clean and shine it up real nice and then use the reflection of the sun gleaming off the flat surface of the knife to blind zombies as you make for a fast getaway.

Axe

You need to get things done, get things done with an axe. A lot of times there are places you just can't get into or buildings that might be locked down tight. Chopping your way into some place is sometimes an essential element of surviving in the zombie apocalypse. Besides, you can use the axe-handle for leverage in case someone gets stuck under something, or you can just hang onto it and use it as a melee weapon. It's not a bad thing to keep around, but the only drawback is that it requires a lot of upper body strength to get the most out of it. Still, even if you had to chop down trees and build your own cabin on the far reaches of a misty mountain, an axe is perfect for the job.

Chainsaw

While it might seem completely redundant to have an axe and a chainsaw, keep in mind that while an axe requires a bit of heft and physical conditioning to make the most of it during hectic, zombie hordes, you don't need to worry about that with a chainsaw. While the thing may be loud and rely heavily on gas to keep it fueled, the highlight is that a chainsaw cuts down the undead rather quickly and you can use it to build that misty mountain cabin with ease. In addition to this, opposite of equally cool but skill-based weapons like the katana, nodachi or wrist blades, the chainsaw is the sort of post-apocalyptic melee weapon where you don't necessarily need any skill or training to wield it effectively... just swing it around and watch the limbs fly loose.

Shotgun

See, this right here is the all-in-one survival tool for all your zombie apocalypse needs. It is life, it is death and it is your safe passage to a long and healthy life in the land of the undead. There is nothing more valuable in a post-zombie apocalypse society than the almighty shotgun. Why? Well, first of all you can use it to hammer in those tent pegs with the butt of the gun. Very useful. You can use to ignite fires or use the gun powder from the shells to create makeshift bombs. You can use it as a melee weapon, you can use it as a crutch (if you're short), you can use the front-end barrel of a recently fired shotgun to cauterize wounds, and you can even replace a limb with a sawed-off shotgun for the ultimate (and deadly) prosthetic.

Of course, shotguns are the perfect one-shot-kill-all weapons of the zombie apocalypse, because even if you aren't good at aiming, a shotgun is likely to put down and keep down a zombie with one good shot. But the most important thing about a shotgun in a zombie apocalypse, where individuals are stuck in a time where the balance of civilization hinges on the survival of a chosen few: no matter who you are, young or old, fat or skinny, short or tall, red, black, blue, green, white or yellow... anyone carrying a wooden-handled, black-barreled shotgun during the turbulent times of a zombie apocalypse will always look badass, and there's nothing more important in the zombie apocalypse than looking badass with a shotgun.