Goddammit. Even though Sharknado 3 looks very much as if its switch is set to overly self-aware mode, this movie can’t help but be one of the most bizarre things ever created for TV. From the odd continuity errors to the plot strands that seemingly go nowhere, this is an uneven movie from start to finish, but in one of the most guilt-free pleasurable ways.

And so, because the first two movies just didn’t have enough weird stuff going on, here are the most WTF moments in Sharknado 3, which don’t include a shark attempting to gain momentum from a loop on a roller coaster operated by Chris Jericho, the completely irrelevant “Fognado” joke, or Jerry Springer’s 7 seconds of screentime. My brain will never stop swelling.

Shark Iwo Jima
So, the first chunk of the movie took its time destroying Washington D.C. with less initial exposition than a novel’s dedication page, and it basically equaled out to “Fin brings Sharknados everywhere he sharkna-goes.” A shark stretched out across the lap of the Lincoln Memorial, the White House was destroyed by the Washington Monument, and we got our first look at the non-non-non-Freemason group The Order of the Golden Chainsaw. But none of those boggled the mind like seeing Finn and his fellow temporary survivors killing a falling shark by holding up a large American flag in a way that mimicked the “Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima” photograph. It was almost offensive, but in the way that a Mad Magazine fold-in is offensive.

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