Thousands of years from now, when future civilizations try to understand what fame was like in the early 21st century, I’m sincerely hoping that the Sharknado franchise is the only thing that has survived long enough to serve as a historical document. Sharknado 3 has rounded up its latest set of entertainers, and audiences can expect to see entrepreneur Mark Cuban and conservative author Ann Coulter popping up to lead the country.
That’s right. Cuban, who owns the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks and is one of the brains behind Shark Tank, will be setting up shop in the Oval Office as the President of the United States. (Can we also expect Cuban to show up on Shark Week to complete the shark-fecta?) Considering this is the Sharknado universe, it’s entirely possible that Cuban won’t even be in character and will just be playing himself as the POTUS. He can certainly afford it, right?
Sitting at Cuban’s right hand will be Ann Coulter as Vice President. The hyper-right wing columnist and political shit-stirrer could also easily be playing herself as Veep, which is a thought that some people might find comparable to having the country ripped apart by sharks, weather phenomena, and even lava-spewing spiders. I have to assume that the next bit of casting will be Stephen Colbert as the President of Russia.
With stars Ian Ziering and Tara Reid returning, Sharknado 3 will take the action to Washington D.C., where we’ll meet our esteemed new free world leaders. But it won’t stop there, as the sharks will continue dropping down all over the East coast, ending up in in Florida. You know, the place where a tornado of sea creatures wouldn’t be all that weird.
Cuban and Coulter join a stellar (said ironically) list of guest stars that already includes former N’Sync dread-popper Chris Kirkpatrick as a lifeguard, controversy-starting TV host Jerry Springer as a manic tourist and wrestler/metalhead Chris Jericho as a roller coaster operator. (Will there be a Fozzy song on the soundtrack?) Other less famous additions to the cast include Ryan Newman (See Dad Run) as Fin and April’s daughter Claudia, and Jack Griffo (The Thundermans) as Claudia’s friend Billy.
Considering how relatively huge Sharknado 2’s ratings were, we can probably expect this sequel to make an even bigger pop culture splash. Expect the madness to continue this summer on Syfy at some point.
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Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.