Survivor: Nicaragua Watch: Running the Camp

Last week, Espada and La Flor merged into one giant noise called Libertad, and everything changed. Well, not everything, but a lot of things. No, NaOnka didn’t develop a case of Nicaraguan lockjaw (more’s the pity), but she saw her control on the game being wrested away from her by little ol’ lady Jane. No, Marty didn’t get his come-uppance, but I think that happening is moot: no one likes him, he has zero shot with a jury unless Dan is allowed to vote seven times, and so the chances that someone will take him to the finals is elevated. At TC, Marty called out Jane in front of the tribe, letting everyone know just how much the rest of them are being duped by her Southern charm, and she’s gotta be pissed, because she’s voted for him in vain three straight times. But all that didn’t matter much, as art student Alina was ganged-up on and sent to the bleachers as the first member of the jury. Eleven remain.

Libertad, Night 22. Jeff says it perfectly in voiceover: the feud between Jane and Marty is about to reach “critical mass”. (Nice metaphor, Mr. P! Hope your birthday last week went well!) Around the campfire, Chase and Brenda try to console Jane from Marty’s onslaught, but she seems unbowed. The next morning, Marty bemoans his situation in interview, saying how frustrating it is to play a complex game such as Survivor against the gaggle of idiots that he’s stuck with. Yeah, sucks to be you, Marty. At least Evil Russell had the game to back up his arrogance. Marty proposes to Benry that at the next TC, they blindside Jane, explaining that if Jane makes Final Three, it’s over.

This, of course, is a valid argument. It’s why they sent the one-legged Kelly B home (sob), and a down-and-out widow granny is no less sympathetic. Jane sees Marty’s act as nothing more than a desperate man grasping at straws, but she’d better be careful. All Marty needs is five like-minded people to pull it off, and right now, he could easily get Benry, Dan, and Fabio to go along. Brenda, Sash, NaOnka and Kelly S could be just as easily swayed. Holly and Chase, probably not so much.

Reward Challenge. This one is a good old-fashioned obstacle course. Divided into two teams, the group must knocked down a brick wall, bash through some bamboo, etc., retrieve some keys, unlock some locks, and hoist their flag. The winning team wins the typical “food and scenery” package, including a zip-line ride and a hellacious barbecue dinner. Against the odds, the random draw pitted the men (minus Chase) against the women. Chase was asked to pick one team to back, meaning that if that team wins, he gets to join them, and interestingly enough, he picked the girls. This proves to be a bad move, since the ladies’ lack of “bashing” skills prove to be unequal to that of the men. Jane, it should be noted, struggled mightily in this challenge. Jeff, ever the provocateur, asks the five victorious men if any of them want to give up their spot to someone else. They all refuse, and Jeff shines a spotlight on that fact for the hearing-impaired, saying that it’s truly an individual game now. Well, duh, Jeff. I don’t care how many friends I leave behind to eat mushy rice, the promise of a banquet after weeks of very little overpowers all else. If that makes me selfish, then so be it.

So Marty, Dan, Fabio, Chase and Benry get a Boy’s Day Out. Starting with the zip-lines (which look like SO much fun), and ending with a feast of meat and frosty beverages, the guys… well, you don’t need me to tell you that they eat their meal with gusto. That’s a given. But watching Survivor castaways pig out is about as visually stimulating as watching The Biggest Loser contestants pass out on the treadmill, so I’ll skip that part and just go right to the strategy session.

Marty quite successfully seems to convince everyone to pretend to vote out NaOnka but really vote out Jane. The group seems convinced that Brenda will be their sixth vote, as Sash is confident that Brenda will side with her over Chase. Back at camp, meanwhile, everyone seems to think that Chase backing the girls was a sign of his character, except for Brenda who just thinks it was dumb, because he didn’t want to go against Jane and Holly. This little cutaway was very expertly edited, I must say, because it would seem to give confirmation that Brenda will indeed throw her lot in with the men. Kelly S, meanwhile, puts forth that Marty needs to go next, and the rest of the girls nod their heads. Chase and Holly also seemed worried about which way Brenda will go, but NaOnka is convinced that she wouldn’t abandon the girls (read: “NaOnka”). Oh, this could get interesting!

Immunity Challenge. After commercial, we go right to Day 24’s IC, and it’s kind of cute: eleven little wooden game-show-contestant podiums are set up in a clearing, like they’re playing “Jeopardia” or something. In this challenge, Jeff shows the castaways a series of iconic symbols (ship, anchor, etc.), and the castaways have to use a six-sided cube to repeat the symbols back to him. One mistake and you’re out. It comes down to a showdown between Marty and Brenda, but Brenda prevails. It would have been interesting so see what have happened if Marty had won, but there promises to be some drama either way.

Let the strategy begin. Benry and Fabio seem to be definitely on board with Marty’s plan, though Fabio hysterically said that sometimes it sucks to just “play dumb.” Good think NaOnka didn’t hear that. And this is off-topic, but it’s three weeks in, and while most of the men have sported full-on beards, all Fabio has grown is a scraggly little thing that makes him look like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Ahem. Chase, growing paranoid about Brenda’s outward indecision, is told by Marty and Sash that it’s NaOnka, once again citing the food-stealing incident as motive for doing so. Chase nods and smiles, but later tells Holly that he’s pretty sure it’s Marty’s plan to flush out NaOnka’s HII and blindside Jane. (Wow, so he is smarter than I thought.) They both seem to agree that Brenda is indeed the swing vote.

Marty approaches Brenda and basically lays his plan out, except for the fact that he tells her that the plan is Sash’s, not his. Which is again smart, because Brenda remains convinced (and tells us in interview) that it’s she and Sash that are running things, not Marty, and that anyone who lets Jane get near Final Three is an idiot. And so who goes tonight comes down to one conversation between Sash and Brenda. Jane is a logical pick, and they worry that the Jane-Holly-Chase alliance might grow powerful if it’s not broken up. Besides which, they agree that Marty is the best chef in camp, and has been savvy enough to include both of them in all of his strategies (like he had a choice, huh). So that’s it, I guess. Marty, Fabio, Benry, and Dan on one side, NaOnka, Jane, Kelly S, and Holly on the other, and Sash and Brenda’s two votes making Chase pretty much irrelevant. Bring on Tribal Council!

Tribal Council. Jeff opens the Q&A by rehashing the Reward Challenge, and how the luck-of-the-draw really went against the women. Jane confirms that her team really weren’t built for crashing through brick walls, but what can you do. Sash says that the barbecue did include a lot of male bonding. Fabio says that there was also strategy going on, but tempers that statement by saying that there were more people back at camp strategizing too. Jeff calls out Marty for his statements about Jane, and he explains again that calling Jane a threat is a compliment. Brenda adds that taking Jane to Final Three ahead of someone like NaOnka is just bad strategy. Jane says that, just like life, Survivor is quite often where nice guys also finish last.

Jeff then asks NaOnka if there’s still fallout from her food-stealing incident, and she petulantly replies that she doesn’t want to talk about it any more, which prompts an awesome “WTF?” face from Jeff. Marty adds that NaOnka’s misdeeds still rankle everyone her, and she retorts that Marty is a poo-poo-head. Then the whole thing dissolves into NaOnka shouting epithets at Marty, while Marty smiles at the ass NaOnka is making of herself, AGAIN. Fabio just looks fed up again, and I can’t say I blame him. Jeff, trying desperately to regain some semblance of control, just says how amazed he is that NaOnka is still around after showcasing her “Miss Thang” attitude so many times. Word, Jeff.

Voting time. Jane votes for Marty, yawn. Marty votes for Jane, yawn. NaOnka flips Marty the bird on the walk back. Seriously, bitch, get over yourself. Jeff collects the urn, and NaOnka chooses not to play her HII. Out come the slips. Jane. Marty. Jane. Jane. Jane. Marty. Marty. Marty. Marty. And… Marty. Well, I guess Sash and Brenda made their mind up after all. Fabio, Dan and Benry do not look happy. Marty steps forward, and Jeff snuffs his torch. I must say, I didn’t like him very much, but he was definitely the best strategist of the group, in a season that didn’t have many. The problem is, the strategy of a great strategist should, first and foremost, be to keep your strategic acumen a secret. That’s probably where he screwed up. Well, that and giving up his HII.

Next week: something dramatic happens. Or, should I say, traumatic, something that will elicit a lot of head-holding and OMG’s from pretty much everyone.