Valve, Take-Two Interactive Attending GamesCom; Steam Box News Inbound?

By William Usher 2013-07-05 15:50:35 discussion comments
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GamesCom may not be as big an event as other press conferences, namely E3 and the Tokyo Game Show, but it appears that the Germany-based convention will be one of the bigger events of the year in the world of video games, as Microsoft plans on hosting a big press conference and now Valve and Take-Two are scheduled to exhibit at the event as well.

According to PixelEnemy [after gathering the info from Neogaf], both Valve and Take-Two Interactive will be attending this year's GamesCom in Cologne, Germany. The site posted up more than just a typical hearsay rumor and instead opted to include photos of both company's showfloor exhibition booths and where they'll be stationed at the big event.

So why is this big news? Keep in mind that Valve has been pretty silent these past few months as the Steambox prototypes have been in testing. They also opted out of attending the biggest video game trade show of the year, E3. Having them show up at GamesCom 2013 is a pretty big deal and whatever they have planned could lay the foundation for a complete change in the video game landscape. Although, it would be safe to say that that kind of hyperbole is potentially jumping the gun.

On a similar note, this news is also quite shocking given that Take-Two Interactive, the parent company of the much loved Rockstar Games, will be attending GamesCom after opting out of E3, and this happens just ahead of the launch of the biggest game coming out this generation: Grand Theft Auto V.

Now, there's nothing indicating that either company will roll out what we all think they're going to roll out (e.g., Valve unveiling the consumer editions of the Steam Box, Take-Two announcing next-gen ports for GTA V) but it does help spice up the event and drop a inkling of potential for some much anticipated surprises.


The general consensus amongst gamers is that Valve will either be unveiling Half-Life 3 (ahaha, a pedobear has a better chance of becoming POTUS), Team Fortress 3 (too soon), Portal 3 (possibly), Half-Life: Episode 3 or Left 4 Dead 3 (most likely).

Now, if we're going with the Order 333 conspiracy theory, the Steam Box will be dropped at GamesCom with the low-end machine having a competitive enough price to make Tretton and Ballmer drop a size in underwear. This would then be followed up with exclusive first-year launch titles for the Steam Box that would include Portal 3, Left 4 Dead 3 and, though highly requested and very unlikely, Half-Life 3.

While the above scenario would effectively cause the internet to implode from the Reddit karma overload with so many upvotes and karma passed around that it effectively drains the system of anymore karma to hand out 4Chan would try to pick up the slack only to get hit with a DDoS from EA viral marketers and Microsoft reputation managers trying to contain the news. Refugee 4Chan members would try to keep the momentum going on NeoGaf but the repeated use of saying NeoGaf backwards without the "Neo" will get them all banned.

In the meanwhile N4G's heat meter will have bubbled over and caused a meltdown of the internal servers, while Google goes into blackout because of all the insane traffic. Throughout this event, Gaben will have to release a video through Steam explaining how he's here to save gaming and that the Linux operated Steam Box will restore order and balance to the universe. Microsoft's stock the next morning will open at $0.01 and the public burning of boxed copies of Windows will commence.

Anyway, I just hope Valve's servers will have the steel resolve to handle the flow of traffic when they do decide to change the world. In the meantime, we can all look forward to Microsoft's big GamesCom conference and start taking bets whether they'll shoot and hit their foot or one of their competitors this time around.

(Main image courtesy of TheVerge.com)
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