Two years ago, at the panel for the first Expendables movie, Terry Crews stood on top of the table onstage in Hall H and ripped off his shirt. We have no idea if we should expect something similarly spectacular this time around, but Crews will definitely be back, along with a ton of his muscle-bound co-stars-- Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all set to appear, along with the man who made it all possible, Sylvester Stallone.
Read below for the blow-by-blow liveblog of all the action, as the first day of panels in Comic Con's Hall H wraps up with the explosions and machismo of The Expendables 2.
4:56 We kick things off with the same trailer we've seen before, and then Stallone takes the stage to chants of "Rocky! Rocky!" Now we've got a clip reel going over Stallone's entire career, and yes, there are lots of explosions.
4:58 Make that lots of explosions and strobe effects. I feel a little seasick.
5:00 Stallone says "each generation has to create their own heroes." This from a man making a movie packed with heroes from a different era? Well, alright.
5:01 Stallone says, "When you have 10 tough guys, you say, how can we showcase their personalities and still be able to tell a story and keep the most important thing in an action film, the M-word: momentum." Smart guy!
5:02 Terry Crews, who Stallone calls "the ultimate male," takes the stage. And he stands on the table! But the shirt stays on, sadly.
5:03 "We call him toll road, because to get by him, you're gonna have to pay a price." Randy Couture, everybody!
5:03 Now time for Dolph Lundgren, whose real-life story is apparently worked into The Expendables 2.
5:04 Arnold Schwarzenegger clip reel!
5:07 Lots of love for Batman & Robin in the Arnold clip reel, woo!
5:08 The man himself takes the stage, and the crowd goes wild. Easily the biggest star to take the stage today-- sorry, Sly.
5:10 I cant' even hear half of what Schwarzenegger is saying because everyone around me is so excited.
5:10 Crews says he and his teammates used to watch these guys's movies before games. "To be on a stage, to be in a movie with them-- I'm from Flint, Michigan. I should be in jail! I'm in this movie, this is America, this proves it can happen."
5:11 Terry Crews just stood up and shook his pecs. Comic Con complete!
5:12 Schwarzenegger is complimenting Crews's muscles in great detail. The fine line between "macho" and "kinda gay" gets even finer.
5:12 And Crews confirms he's got a "bromance" with Arnold. You heard it here first!
5:14 Alright, time to talk about the actual movie. This time the guys start off "in some place like Burma or Nepal," get into some kind of situation, then wind up back at home then blackmailed into taking an assignment by none other than Bruce Willis. "The Expendables are pushed to the limit." I think we're just talking about the plot of the first movie all over again?
5:16 Stallone namedrops Chuck Norris in the generally nonsensical plot summary. People love Chuck Norris!
5:16 Hearing the name "Dolph Lundgren" in Schwarzenegger's accent is very, very satisfying.
5:18 "Please don't write this time, this is off the record. But when I came to America 44 years ago, Sly was my English teacher." So quoth Arnold. Man, I hope that's true.
5:19 Apparently Arnold and Sly first met at the Golden Globe where Rocky won Best Picture. See, I knew the Golden Globes were good for something!
5:20 When Rocky won Best Picture, Sly threw a vase of flowers up in the air, and they landed on Schwarzenegger. And he thought, in Sly's words, "Boy, am I going to cross-pollinate this guy." Wait, what??
5:22 I'm sorry, I still have to laugh whenever someone names Liam Hemsworth as part of this cast.
5:23 Jedi Jesus is up at the mic for the third time today.
5:24 The guys up on the panel are making each other laugh so hard the guy at the mic-- wearing a Viking helmet and speaking in an Arnold accent-- can barely speak.
5:26 "Crush your enemies!" Arnold knows his base.
5:28 The infamous twins take the mic in matching E.T. T-shirts. Stallone asks, "Am I drinking??"
5:28 The twins ask Schwarzenegger, of course, about the potential sequel to Twins. "I think they have moved it along, and Ivan Reitman has shown interest in being involved, universal is excited about it. We are now looking for a great writer to write the sequel, and I"m looking forward to doing it, because I think it will be hilarious." Then he just says, just for fun, "It's not a tumor!"
5:30 Arnold is on a roll quoting his own movies. He's a charmer!
5:32 "My question is for the entire panel. If all 5 of you, right now, got in a fight, who would win?" Everyone in the room wants this to happen for real. Stallone says it would be Randy Couture.
5:34 Finally, a woman steps up-- "thank you for the years of muscle and action." But she's asking a question on behalf of her brother, so does it count?
5:34 Stallone says his favorite Arnold movie is Junior, "and he loves Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot."
5:36 Arnold says we should see Sly's paintings. Invite us over!
5:38 Laptop battery is dying, so this will have to be the last dispatch-- Arnold says you have to ice your joints a lot more when you make action movies after you get older. Stallone helpfully suggests to sleep in the freezer.
5:41 Ok, one more Sly quote. "The more injured I get on a movie, the better it does. Hopefully in the next one I get beheaded."