Your Total TV Guide
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - The Final Three
Now, Iím sure that Ramsay isnít going to poison the food to make sure that he doesnít have to give any of them a job in his restaurant, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that the thought at least crossed his mind. You know, just an idle fantasy.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - A Heart Attack Dipped In A Stroke
Ramsay gathers the final four in Hellís Kitchen for the challenge. He looks at them and reiterates that one of them will become the executive chef at his brand-new restaurant. They do a weird cutaway from Ramsay at this point; my guess is so the viewers canít see him choking down the bile that is surely rising at this prospect.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - The Real Housewives Of Hell's Kitchen
So the students come in, and itís a bunch of housewives. Specifically housewives who look like they took a booze cruise straight from Dina Lohanís weekly bridge game via the Tori Spelling Bolt-On canal and somehow wandered into Hellís Kitchen. Thatís what I love about Fox: you know theyíll always keep it classy.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - Heading Straight For An Iceberg
Corey interviews that he may be good at something, just not cooking. She suggests that heíd make a better used car salesman, which I have to disagree with. The only thing I would ever buy from Matt is a bottle of Mace, which I would then immediately use on him.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - Has Anyone Seen My Finger?
Guys, I have a big problem even thinking about injuries that involve fingernails or nipples. This is freaking me the crap out right now. While Iím on my couch whimpering, the rest of the Red Team just seems annoyed that they have to cook his dish. But then, THEY CANíT FIND THE PART HE CHOPPED OFF. Look, Iím sorry to go all crazy Caps Lock on you guys, but they are probably COOKING his FINGER. Aaaaiiieeee.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - Just One Of The Girls
Two Beef Wellingtons that were supposed to be well done are sent back because they are way undercooked. Ramsay is positively apoplectic and flat out calls Ben a jerk and utters the three words that no Hellís Kitchen chef wants to hear: ďShut it down!Ē
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - I Need Her Beef!
Ramsay asks if anyone has been to a Sweet 16 party lately, and only Matt raises his hand. Ramsay asks him if he influenced the menu and he throws his team under the bus and says ďno.Ē Now, Iím not entirely sure that lurking in the bushes wearing a trench coat counts as ďattendingĒ a Sweet 16 party, but letís give olí Matty the benefit of the doubt.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - Matt's A Ding-A-Ling
Ben has to deliver the first batch of pizzas. Is it just me, or does Ramsey seem to especially hate Ben for some reason? Itís probably sexual tension. At least thatís what it is in my mindóand in my Gordon Ramsay Fan Fiction notebook. What? You donít have one? Well, uh, neither do I. Shut up.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - You've Got Some Attitude Son
Matt says something to the effect of he hopes the women get stuck upside down on the roller coaster and ďall that cellulite in Coreyís ass goes into her brain.Ē First of all, what? That doesnít make any damn sense. Second of all, youíre attacking a tall, skinny chick for having cellulite? Whether she does or not, that is some tough talk from a dude who looks like a cross between David Gest and George Costanza.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - The Chicken Dance
So what big secret information did the girls learn by using their ďsexuality?Ē That the guys are mad at Craig. Shocker. Because, you know, thereís no other way they could have figured that out besides stripping down to their underwear and hottubbing it with a Weebleócertainly not by being present at the challenge where Craig lost the entire thing for the guys by being a crappy chicken cutter. Good job girls; Iím glad to see your schemes are as inept as ever.
TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - Where's the Beef?
Seriously. Jason is whining about how he got yelled at and he didnít know what he was getting himself into. Really? Really Jason? You didnít realize that Gordon Ramsey, who between this show and Kitchen Nightmares is responsible for employing every single bleeper in the city of Los Angeles may yell a little? That maybe, in the course of that yelling heíll use a few bad words? You donkey.