One of the biggest, most open-world, most brown-colored, most wood cutting game to ever see the light of day has managed to launch on the most popular video game digital distribution portal in the world... Steam.
The name of the game is Woodcutter Simulator 2013 – not to be confused with Farming Simulator 2013 – and it puts you in the role of a professional woodcutter. You're not just any old logger-dashing hard-hatter, you're an enterprising, ambitious, tree-getter. You start off in the unrestricted open-world and you work your way up through the ranks by cutting down trees and making cash so you can level-up your skills and access the next bit of logging material. If that sounds intense to you, well you're not alone. And who knows, maybe Woodcutting Simulator will outsell Battlefield 4 the way Farming Simulator outsold Medal of Honor: Warfighter?
The game's heart-pumping thrills start ratcheting up as you gain access to new logging equipment and you become the kind of forestry terrorist that made Smokey The Bear wet his wood-stack when he was but a cub. But don't take my word for it, check out this amazing gameplay video below. Just ignore all the broken parts.
The game is receiving all sorts of critical feedback from the community right now. You can head on over to the Steam forums and find some pretty awesome thread titles like this...
Ok this takes wc'ing from RuneScape to a whole new level:
*chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree**chop tree* Until your fingers bleed.
I don't know, RuneScape required the sort of resource farming that would make the subsidized-work farmers in the United States blush with envy for the kind of effort gamers have to put into all that clicking. Some of them still wish they could get paid proper for doing real work again.
There's also awesome threads like this...
I bought this game.
And I cut so much wood, but then I woke up and realized it was all just a dream. It was cold and there was a breeze, so I got up and looked around. I was outside and I was naked and the entire forest around my house was gone.
What have I done?
Someone's been sneaking a read in my diary again. Going to have to lock that behind my collector's edition of Fabio's Chest-Hair Stylist Guide For Beginners. Dang.
There were a few more killer thread titles, including but not limited to:
Watching Paint Dry simulator?
Will this game ruin the ending of Dexter for me?
in this game do you do what a Tree surgeon would do?
My favorite yet...Toiletcleaner simulator!?
You know what makes that last one so awesome? He received a reply that led him to an actual Toilet Cleaner Tycoon. “You lie, you fail blogger!” some of you might say. But lo and behold, I provide you a link to Toilet Tycoon! Choke on that with a plunger and then use Surgeon Simulator 2013 to fix the problem.
However, none of those replies, threads, comments or digs compare to what Steam user TiMoN brought to the discussion: I present to you the ultimate alternative to Woodcutting Simulator 2013... a game that knows no boundaries to the world of interactive entertainment and a title that will push your feelings for the medium of escapism to heights you didn't know they could reach. In other words, if you play the following game while high, you just might be able to wave to the astronauts while you're up there. Enjoy.