As A Nintendo Fanboy, I'm Deeply Upset With Nintendo Over The Lead-Up To The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

Look, I'm a huge fan of the NWO (Nintendo World Order), and when you're a fan of the NWO, you're a fan FOR LIFE! So, that being the case, can I just say that I'm DEEPLY UPSET with Nintendo over the lead-up to The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, which comes out April 1st? This annoys me because I was really looking forward to this movie when it was initially revealed.

But now…I'm less enthused? I don't know, it's a long story. Let me start with my biggest complaint.

First Off, WHY DID THEY SPOIL FOX MCCLOUD BEING IN THIS MOVIE?

When news broke that Fox McCloud was DEFINITELY in this movie (there had only been speculation before), I literally almost choked on my lunch, and mostly because they confirmed it with a poster! Why did Illumination and Nintendo do that?!

When we found out that Pikmin would be in the movie, I thought, "Okay…that's fine. I guess." Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of both Mario and Pikmin, loves to stick Pikmin in pretty much anything he can (you can even see them scattered about in Super Nintendo World at Universal Studios). But Fox McCloud from Star Fox changes EVERYTHING. Fox can't just be some little Easter egg cameo like Pikmin could have been. No. Fox McCloud talks, and he's being voiced by Glen Powell!

Plus, this would have been huge to see on the opening weekend and not know that he was in the film! For Illumination and Nintendo to spoil such a huge surprise SO SOON BEFORE THE RELEASE just makes my blood boil. But this isn't the only spoiler I wished they had saved.

Secondly, Did We Really Need Multiple Nintendo Directs For This Film?

If you're just a movie fan and not a gamer, then you probably don't know what it's like to be in the trenches when it comes to Nintendo Directs. But, let me tell you something, we're dying out here in these streets! For those who don't know, Nintendo Directs are usually for showcasing upcoming games, but they sometimes reveal other things, like the Nintendo Museum, the theme park, and yes, even movies.

Well, we got not one, but MULTIPLE Nintendo Directs for this movie, and each time, they've revealed way too much. We learned that Rosalina would be in the film, which, you know, fine, she WOULD be in a Super Mario Galaxy movie. But we also learned who'd be voicing Yoshi (I would have liked to have learned that in the end credits), and that Wart of Super Mario Bros. 2 fame was going to be in the movie. Wart was one of the deep-cut characters I would have loved to have been surprised by, Now, because of a Direct, it’s just out there.

So,did we really need multiple Nintendo Directs for this movie? Wouldn't one would have sufficed? Also, couldn't we have gotten a Nintendo Direct for new first-party games instead? That's all I'm saying.

There May Be More Secrets In The Actual Film, But I Feel Less Excited Now Rather Than More

Honestly, Fox McCloud changes everything, and now, I know I’m going to be upset with this movie. Do you know why? Because if Samus from Metroid isn't in it, I'm automatically going to hate it. Because even more than a Zelda movie - which we're already getting - I want a Metroid movie. And I KNOW I'm never going to get one. Metroid is just too niche, even if it is my favorite Nintendo franchise.

So,this movie is likely my only chance to get Samus on the big screen, and if she isn't there, then I'm just going to hate it. I'm sorry, but I will. It didn't have to be this way.

But since they showed us freaking Fox McCloud - and Pikmin, and R.O.B.! - I'm not going to even be paying attention to the plot now. I'm just going to be waiting (probably with my arms crossed) for Samus to show up. Because I swear, she BETTER be there if Fox McCloud is going to be there.