Pillion Wasn’t What I Expected, But That Made Me Enjoy It More

Alexander Skarsgard is an actor whom I enjoy watching because he doesn’t play it safe with projects. When I heard about Pillion, I said sure why not? I haven’t watched many romantic movies about BDSM. The dom/sub lifestyle is not for everyone, so some view it as a dark dynamic, and that sometimes reflects in movies. I watched Pillion, unsure about whether it positively or negatively portrayed BDSM culture.

I also wasn’t sure if the film would showcase Colin (Harry Melling) and Ray’s (Alexander Skarsgård) relationship as toxic and abusive or as an inspiring love story. Pillion had a much more complex conversation about these characters and this subculture.

That’s what made me enjoy it.

Warning: Pillion spoilers are ahead. Proceed with caution.

I Worried That Pillion Would Glamorize Toxic Relationships

I loved Secretary when I first watched it. It’s one of James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s best movies, so it’s a very entertaining movie. However, if I rewatched it, I may see the relationship as too toxic to support. Additionally, I now view some fictional couples that I used to love at a different time in my life, but now see as a toxic representation of romance. I know sometimes the film industry misrepresents the BDSM community.

It makes it more toxic than people claim it is. I know nothing about it, besides reading or seeing a few articles or clips about it. However, I agree that it’s often shown in a toxic way. This sometimes also means that the romance between a dom/sub can be represented as loving and mutual, or extreme abuse of a power dynamic, even if it starts consensual.

I also know Pillion is a comedy. Therefore, I didn’t expect a major dissection of the BDSM community and the levels of toxicity or care in it. I anticipated a fun, potential romantic movie about an LGBTQ+ dom/sub dynamic. Though Ray could be toxic at times, I don’t think the movie wants to showcase this relationship as dangerous for Colin.

The film has more layers than just labeling some aspects of BDSM as right or wrong, good or bad. Pillion wants to show how Colin and Ray’s relationship works, and what they both ended up enjoying from it, until one tries to change the established rules.

Instead, It’s A Movie About Self-Discovery

I think the Pillion ending leaves room for interpretation. It’s not a wild ending, but a movie where people may project their own experiences and beliefs on it. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to view it. However, I viewed it as, despite having his heart broken by Ray, Colin’s embracing of his new identity. He is willing to try again at love. He didn’t simply want a new relationship, but wanted a new dom. He discovers that he loves the dom/sub dynamic.

I think the importance of Pillion is less about the Ray and Colin relationship (and whatever kinky things they do) and more about Colin’s journey of self-discovery. He starts the film timid, shy, and confused. He’s an introvert who seems not to have many friends or hobbies. His parents are his closest friends.

As a gay man, he also doesn’t seem to have had many romantic relationships. He’s not scared or hiding his sexuality. He just hasn’t found his place within that community. Colin needs to gain confidence and a sense of self. Ray gives him this. The BDSM community also provides this self-discovery for Colin. Pillion’s best scenes involve the other dom/sub relationships embracing Colin as their own.

He gains a whole community while dating Ray. His relationships with the community seem more transformative than his one with Ray. Ray is the gateway into this world, but the community makes it shine and important.

Pillion Is A Queer Coming Out Movie, But Not In A Traditional Sense

Many great LGBTQ+ movies showcase queer characters finding their identity in a standard way. It’s a coming-out story with the main character searching for acceptance from their family and friends. These are moving, empowering movies. However, sometimes it’s nice to encounter films that are different from the standard. Pillion is one of these movies.

It’s a coming-of-age and a coming-out movie, but not from the perspective of a character trying to accept his queerness. He’s finding his identity within the LGBTQ+ community. The BDSM community is where he feels most comfortable. People don’t understand Ray and Colin’s relationship. That’s okay, because they enjoy it. Ray and Colin’s relationship becomes complicated because Colin seems fine with the dynamic at first.

Then he tries to change things. I don’t think this shows that Colin doesn’t like or belong within this world. It shows that Ray just might not be the right dom for him. Colin needs someone who can be a true dom, but with some compromise. He doesn’t mind being submissive but may want occasional kissing and dates with his dom.

The right partner will accommodate him.

It Shows Good And Bad Sides Of BDSM, Which Makes It Feel More Realistic Than Other Depictions

I want to make it very clear that I know very little about BDSM and the dom/sub lifestyle. Therefore, I don’t know what’s an accurate portrayal or what’s extremely inaccurate. However, I imagine that these relationships can turn toxic. The whole idea is someone dominating someone else. Usually, the person is willing to participate. When Colin meets Ray, he isn’t aware of this lifestyle and finds himself thrown into it. He has to learn, grow, and figure out things along the way.

He doesn’t know that he enjoys this dynamic until he experiences it. It makes sense that the two men would clash on their wants and needs because Colin is just learning to understand them. Ray is very familiar with this world. He’s not willing to compromise, and that causes problems. This clash leads to conflict in the relationship, which partly makes it toxic.

However, Ray really likes Colin. He tries to change a little to give him what he needs. Ultimately, he realizes he cannot be what Colin needs because this changes his identity and the nature of their relationship. The dom/sub relationship doesn’t work for Ray the way Colin wants it. Nevertheless, it’s kind that Ray even tries a little for him.

I imagine, like all relationships, dom/sub ones are complicated. There are bad and good parts, but the most important necessities are trust, communication, and satisfaction in a way that meets both partners’ needs. I think Pillion showcases that side of the BDSM world well. It felt more realistic than some movies that treat it with judgment or a lack of understanding.

And, Pillion Is Oddly Romantic

I would not put Pillion in the conversation of the best romantic comedies, but I think it’s a fascinating LGBTQ+ romantic movie. It centers queer love in a world of subcultures and unconventional relationships and romances. Their queer identity is an important part of the story.

I also think Ray loves Colin, but not in a way that everyone can understand. Colin loves him back and wants to be what he needs. Both men try to compromise and alter themselves to please the person they care about the most. Eventually, they come to understand that they cannot be what the other needs.

Ray must release Colin so he can find a better match for him. Loving someone enough to let them go is sometimes the kindest act of love. Pillion is a must-watch movie, and was one of the best upcoming LGBTQ+ movies that I couldn't wait to watch.

Catch Pillion at a theater near you.