We're Not On The Same Page About Rob Reiner's Career, And I Think That's Really Special

It’s been almost two weeks since Rob Reiner and his wife were tragically murdered, and in that time, I’ve had a lot of in-person conversations with family and friends about his career. I’ve also read a ton of tributes and obituaries and watched a lot of podcasts and interviews that featured people talking about his career. Mostly it’s been affirming to hear how much actors loved working with him and how many people were touched by his warmth and wisdom in real life. Beyond that, however, it’s also caused me to realize something about his career: I don’t see it the same way as most other people. At first it was kind of frustrating, but as I’ve sat with that realization, I’ve started to realize how special that is.

I’ve probably seen The Princess Bride fifty times. I think it’s one the funniest, quirkiest, most quotable and triumphant movies of all time. I like to watch it when I’m sick. I like to watch it when I’m sad or happy or bored or bemused. I like to watch strangers watch it for the first time on YouTube. It would easily make my personal top five, and yet, a lot of obituaries for the director didn’t even mention it, not even in passing. I spoke to several friends and family members who haven’t even seen it. Some have seen it and don't really like it.

I also love This Is Spinal Tap. I say “such a fine line between stupid and clever” at least once a week. It was a go-to movie for my friends and I to put on in high school, and I’ve watched so many interviews with musicians over the years who have talked about how scary accurate and hilarious it is. Anderson Cooper just gave an interview where he said he’s “obsessed” with it, and yet, I saw tweet after tweet talking about how many brilliant movies Reiner made in the 80s and 90s, and many of them didn’t even mention Spinal Tap. Easily more than half the people I’ve talked to about Reiner have never seen it or just watched it recently.

To me personally, those are the Rob Reiner movies. They’re the reasons why I consider him an all-time fantastic director, and yet, to a lot of other people, they’re just footnotes in his career. They have very little or nothing at all to do with why they were touched by Rob Reiner’s life.

For other people, the movie that matters is When Harry Met Sally or Stand By Me. For others, it’s A Few Good Men or Misery. One of those is the movie they watched over and over in high school, or it’s the one they put on for company when no one else is around. One of those cheers them up or helps them cry out their feelings. One or two or all four of them are meaningful in a special and emotional way.

You might be saying this is just an example of having preferences, but if you really think about it, there aren’t many directors in the history of Hollywood who have made as many different movies with completely separate fanbases as Reiner. He’s not a Wes Anderson who has an overt visual style and relatively consistent tone that cuts through many of his movies. He didn’t make films for his specific fans. He made different movies that were likely to appeal to different types of people.

At first I thought that was a little lonely and disconcerting, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized how special and affirming that is. In real life, we connect with different people in different ways. We have a friend who also loves the Bears and another who also loves going to fancy restaurants. We have a family member we can be really raw and emotional and sad with and another who shares a really disturbing sense of humor. Different people bring different sides of our personality out, and in a special way, Rob Reiner’s career shows that.