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UPDATE: Just as we hoped, they released an alternate trailer! The other version is at the bottom of this post.
If you caught The Dictator in theaters this weekend, you've already gotten your first glimpse at the Channel 4 news team-- a.k.a Brick Tamland, Champ Kind, Brian Fantana and Ron Burgundy-- as they prepare to return to your movie screens. But if you didn't make it out to Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie, the first teaser for Anchorman 2 has finally arrived online, and you can see it below.
For one thing, this teaser answers one burning question we've had ever since the teaser poster dropped online-- was someone on the news team missing a leg, or was the perspective just weird? All four newsmen seem to be walking just fine, so now we can just focus on the jokes, which feel perfectly within the familiar Anchorman wheelhouse. Even the narration -- "When apes rode the winged horse across the valley of Eli"-- is appropriately silly and completely nonsensical. It's a teaser trailer that both makes us excited for the movie and tells us absolutely nothing about what the movie will be like-- I have a feeling Brick's promise that "in this movie we play witches" isn't going to come true.
I'm also certain that there are about 15 other versions of this teaser in which they improvise other insane lines, so here's hoping those emerge online soon. In the meantime, I think we can all be cautiously optimistic that the unhinged weirdness of Anchorman will be living on in the sequel-- and at the very least, that Ron Burgundy's fantastic helmet of hair is in exactly the shape we left it. So long as the Sex Panther cologne is still made with bits of real panther, everything is in its right place at last.