Batman V Superman Starring Shia LaBeouf And John Cena Is, Of Course, Mindblowingly Awesome

The internet is awash with mashups of all varieties. I’m not saying that’s all that’s out there, though sometimes it feels that way. But of all videos lurking in the ether, I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered one quite as mind-blowing as this one that takes the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice trailer and inserts Randy Orton, John Cena, and Shia LaBeouf. It’s a thing that you can’t unsee, but that you can’t look away from. Have some paper towels handy, because this bad boy is going to melt your brain til it runs out your damn ears.

A vigilante running around fighting crime in what is essentially a Speedo is a whole different kind of intimidating than a guy dressed up like a bat or a dude in a red cape. If you’re mugging someone and you see that creeping up, one might assume there are some bad, bad drugs involved. Like someone got into grandpa’s PCP stash again bad.

This video from Vidgeo is totally bananas in the best possible way. I’m pretty stoked that we’re finally about to see Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but god damn, this is the kind of thing I would camp out, Star Wars style, to see on opening night just on principle. This is also the most genius use of that Shia LaBeouf green screen footage that has ever graced the human race. Of all the version of Batman and Bruce Wayne that we’ve had over the years, none has ever given such outstanding motivational speeches.


And who knew that Randy Orton’s eyes were impervious to bullets? I knew that could take a lot of physical punishment, but not that.


Or that he could wrestle down a jumbo jet all on his own. Okay, some of his diehard fans probably guessed that he was capable of such feats of strength and daring. Still impressive though.


And then, of course, there’s John Cena’s cameo as Wonder Woman, because, why the hell not?


And a three-way tag team of Cena, Batman, and Superman is a formidable foe for any villain, even some unholy Randy Orton/Doomsday hybrid. That is a throwdown worthy of a pay-per-view if ever there was one.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, the real version, hits theaters on March 25. Until then, this should keep you occupied.

Brent McKnight