Captain America Has A Cell Phone, And More Revelations From The Marvel Press Conferences

There are studios that don’t have particularly good control over their actors when it comes to the information they reveal in press conferences, and there are studios that manage every little tidbit with ruthless efficiency. Marvel is most definitely a studio that takes the latter approach, and since there were plenty of reveals in the Comic-Con Marvel panel, none of the more than one hundred reporters jammed into the press room expected any big time casting announcements or long-term vision talk. In the end, those lowered expectations proved correct, but fortunately for Marvel fans, the stars did offer a healthy dose of something else: hilarity.

For whatever reason, the jokes and the crazy stories were flying throughout the two sitdowns, which featured the casts of Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy. Of course, not all humor translates overly well when the moment is lost, but I’ve gone ahead and selected five quotes that are pretty damn funny.

"Being at Comic-Con and answering questions about comics is super easy." - Chris Pratt (Star Lord)

I don’t know if you know this, but a healthy percentage of media members at places like Comic-Con are unnaturally obsessed with comic books and all things geek. As such, the poor actors and directors at the Marvel press room today had to answer more than a few hyper-specific questions related to Agent Coulson, converging worlds and superhero powers. At one point, the entire cast was asked if they felt intimidated by having to present a more obscure comic with a subset of hardcore fans to the world. Without missing a beat, Pratt offered up that sarcastic gem above.

"Only Robert Downey Jr has input. He controls everything in Marvel. We don’t get any input at all." - Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury)

There are a very small percentage of actors who have some control over their characters. Think Will Smith in the Men In Black franchise. An overwhelming majority of the time in these gigantic, big budget event films, however, the actors receive the script and only then can meet with the director and producers to recommend some minor alterations. Consequently, when a reporter asked how much the actors were involved in the writing process, they didn’t really seem to know what to say; so, after some awkward silence, Samuel L Jackson bluntly offered up that gem of a quote.

"Captain doesn’t sling jokes. He’s not naturally sarcastic, but you can’t keep playing the ‘What Is The Internet?’ joke. He’s up to date now. He has a cell phone." - Chris Evans (Captain America)

There was a lot of talk during the Captain America: Winter Soldier panel about how difficult it is to make a movie using the superhero because he’s such a goddamn "Boy Scout". He always puts others first. He doesn’t have a saucy personal life, and he’s just not funny. In The Avengers, Whedon used all that to his advantage by implementing some jokes directed squarely at Captain because of both his personality and his fish out of water status. That won’t happen this time around because Evans and everyone else want the world to know it’s been two years and our hero has had the world explained to him.

"I’m glad the vegetables weren’t sharp or I would have used one to slit my wrist." - Chris Pratt (Star Lord)

In case if you’ve missed out on the Internet over the past few months, Chris Pratt is jacked now. Not only did he lose a ton of weight, he altered his body to look like a professional wrestler. How did he do it? Well, he "cried forty pounds off and the rest was just being really hungry and staying disciplined." Mid-diet, he celebrated his birthday, but instead of a cake, his friends and family members wheeled out a giant spread of vegetables that spelled out happy birthday, which inspired the above musing.

"When it’s raining, I just have Dave (Batista) cover my head with his hand." - Zoe Saldana (Gamora)

As I said before, people ask some hypothetical nonsense at superhero press conferences sometimes. Luckily, those questions can sometimes lead to the best answers. For example: professional wrestler Dave Batista was asked if his character Drax could beat up The Hulk. Before he even had a chance to answer, Zoe Saldana chimed in with easily her most aggressive answer of the entire night. She thinks he could absolutely pound him. In fact, she doesn’t even think it would be a fair fight, mostly because of the hilarious, real-life reason she outlines in the above quotation.

Editor In Chief

Mack Rawden is the Editor-In-Chief of CinemaBlend. He first started working at the publication as a writer back in 2007 and has held various jobs at the site in the time since including Managing Editor, Pop Culture Editor and Staff Writer. He now splits his time between working on CinemaBlend’s user experience, helping to plan the site’s editorial direction and writing passionate articles about niche entertainment topics he’s into. He graduated from Indiana University with a degree in English (go Hoosiers!) and has been interviewed and quoted in a variety of publications including Digiday. Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.