The Darth Vader Yule Log Offers A Sick, But Hilarious Holiday Alternative

With the holidays quickly approaching, this is the time of year where it’s nice to curl up under a pile of blankets next to a warm fire. For years, those of us who don’t have fireplaces where we live have had to sustain ourselves with videos of Yule logs burning on our televisions and delusion. But this year is also marks another momentous occasion, the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and with that far, far away galaxy at the forefront of our minds, a new video offers a hilarious, but twisted, alternate way to combine two of our favorite things.

Yes, this year, thanks to intrepid YouTube user BejaminApple, instead of watching a boring old Yule log spark and crackle away on your television, you can witness the corpse of Darth Vader burn for five straight hours. What about watching a body burn and smolder for hours doesn’t just scream Merry Christmas and happy freakin’ holidays?

This scene, as you probably well know, comes from the end of Return of the Jedi, where, after Darth Vader, the ultimate baddie, finally redeems himself by saving his son’s life, a maudlin Luke Skywalker must put the torch do dear old dad’s lifeless body.

Whatever Vader’s iconic black outfit is made of must be pretty damn tough. As you can clearly see, he’s entirely consumed by flames, and the funeral pyre features a substantial amount of wood, so it’s going to be burning for a good long while. But given what we’ve seen in the trailers for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, we know the helmet at least survives. Sure, it’s mangled and messed up—you wouldn’t want to wear it—but it’s still recognizable, so it wasn’t completely destroyed.

If watching a body burn for five hours, even a fictional character’s body—and one who spends the bulk of three movies as a villain at that—doesn’t jibe with your sense of holiday cheer, this isn’t the only spin on the Yule log video making the rounds. Another that features Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman sitting in a chair, silently sipping scotch next to a fire is also available for your perusal. It’s certainly less grotesque, but it’s still a bit awkward.

Some of you lucky devils are probably watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens right now, or perhaps you’re in line to do so shortly, as the first U.S. screenings are officially underway. Now all the rest of us have to do is manage to avoid an internet full of spoilers before we have the chance to check it out for ourselves. That could prove to be tricky.

Brent McKnight