At least once or twice, I have contemplated punching Shia LaBeouf in the face. Not for the every-movie marathon. That was awesome. But for the horrible press presence for the Lars Von Trier movies, and the "riding an elevator" stunt, I have thought about, "Yeah, that pretentious dude needs a bop on the nose." Never, though, have I wanted to punch a stranger just because they looked like Shia LaBeouf. And yet, that’s exactly what happened to New Yorker Mario Licato.
Mario Licato posted this rough-looking picture to his Instagram page, with the bizarre message thanking the stranger who "randomly" assaulted him because he looked like Shia LaBeouf. You heard that right. Licato claims that he looked too much like the Holes and Transformers star, and it earned him a beating.
Licato additionally opened up to Gothamist to explain in greater detail what happened, and the story doesn’t get any clearer. Over the weekend, Licato took a train into Manhattan to see a show, and was coming up the stairs from the subway when he was punched, sending him tumbling down the stairs. According to Licato:
I didn't even see the guy. I just see his fist coming towards me. It knocked me, and while I was falling down the stairs, all I hear was, ‘This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!’ … I was so confused. I was even more confused because I got up and I was like, am I crazy or did I hear him say, ‘This is because you look like Shia LaBeouf?’ And [the couple] were like, ‘Nope. That's exactly what he said as he was running away from you.’
That’s about as weird as it gets. Could this possibly be the real reason that this guy was attacked? A stranger walking down to the subways in New York City saw a fellow city dweller who looked too much like Shia LaBeouf, and the first instinct was to run and punch this person I the face? Listen, I didn’t like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull either, but that doesn’t mean I’m heading out into society with my fists swinging.
Licato says, surprisingly, that he isn’t really shocked at the association with LaBeouf, because it has been happening to him for years. He claims that he has been stopped on the street and confused with LaBeouf many times. All he really wants to know is what beef this stranger has/had with LaBeouf?
I wanna know what Shia LaBeouf did to him. What did Shia LaBeouf do to him that he punched somebody that looks like him? He must have did something so mean. Did he steal his girlfriend? Did he just see his last performance art piece?
We may never know.