Furious 7 is a ridiculous movie. That’s what makes it so great. We want to see cars plummet out of airplanes, careen down the side of mountains, and jump through three skyscrapers. Watching someone do a three-point turn and competently parallel parking would just be boring. But cars do things that cars aren’t supposed to do in Furious 7, as this handy and hilarious video reminds us.
There’s all kinds of LOLs dotted throughout this video. Kudos to College Humor for bringing the mirth in droves, even if it did pretty much ruin the sublime Furious 7 forever for me in the process.
Straight off the bat, Furious 7 massively fails with its depiction of what would happen if two people were catapulted out of a building by a huge explosion, fell twenty stories, and landed on top of car. While Dwayne Johnson’s Luke Hobbs and Elsa Pataky’s Elena Neves were able to brush off their injuries with a quick visit to the emergency room, in all honesty they would have both instantly died. Actually, Luke’s bones would have disintegrated into dust, but Elena probably would have survived to feel the burning wreckage of the car become engulfed in flames before exploding around her. Surely The Rock’s presence and the fact he uses his body as a human bouncy castle means that Furious 7’s depiction is at least a little realistic though? Yeah?
Meanwhile, Furious 7’s most notorious scene – which saw Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, and Ludacris skydive out of a plane in their cars – was equally as ridiculous. Instead of the group elegantly tumbling out of the plane before seamlessly greeting the road with their tires, in all likelihood Paul Walker and Michelle Rodriguez’s cars’ parachutes would have become entangled and they would have just plummeted to the ground at several hundred miles an hour; a gust of wind would have led Ludacris off track and he would have instead been taken to a watery grave; Vin Diesel would have missed the road and careered into a boulder; while Tyrese Gibson would have been impaled on a branch.
College Humor also believe that Nathalie Emmanuel’s Megan Ramsey’s attempt to jump out of her moving prison onto the hood of Vin Diesel’s car would have resulted in her being flung off into the middle of the road where she would have been repeatedly squished by the rest of the Furious 7 posse. And the blockbuster’s final scene, as Vin Diesel tries to reverse out of a collapsing building, is just all kinds of wrong. The thing is though, we wouldn’t want it any other way. And neither would Universal or Furious 7, because they’ve got 1.45 billion reasons that prove they were right.
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