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Turns out there is someone out there stupid enough to try to remake Rashomon. L.A.-based Harbor Light Entertainment has teamed up with Japanese production company Lotus to fund a remake of Kurosawa's 1950 classic, according to Variety, marking the end of all limits and decency in this remake-happy era of Hollywood.

The project, which will be filmed in English and set in the United States, will be called Rashomon 2010; presumably that gives you two years to come to terms with this movie ever existing. Given how mainstream filmmaking has gotten progressively worse over the past 50 years at conveying subtlety and differing points of view, I can only assume that this new version of Rashomon will somewhat resemble Crash, and end in a lecture from the judge-type character about how all of our perspectives, deep down, are the same. Don't even try to talk me down from this ledge-- no one should ever remake Rashomon and you all know it.