Underworld Evolution should be the number one movie in America this weekend, almost by default. Last week’s crop of movies opened to pretty dismal numbers, and though several previously limited release Oscar contenders like Brokeback Mountain and The New World open wider this weekend, the first has been so over-hyped that by now most of the people who wanted to see it probably have and the second is so boring that no one in their right mind would want to see it, shorter version or not.
Here’s our weekly look at what’s new in theaters this weekend.
Sneak Preview
The interracial romantic comedy Something New gets a brief sneak peek this Saturday in theaters across the country. If there’s one good thing about Alien vs. Predator it’s that it made Sanaa Lathan a little more high profile. Ok I’m not sure if she can act or not, but she’s ridiculously beautiful and I’m willing to give her a shot. See her make out with her white gardener in Something New, if you catch it at its single showing this Saturday evening. If you don’t, it’ll open in earnest on February 3rd.
Limited Releases (Opening in fewer than 500 theaters.)
The political propaganda piece Why We Fight opens in a handful of theaters this weekend. I’m assume it’s propaganda, though I suppose it could also be an unbiased documentary. But the movie’s tagline is “It is nowhere written that the American empire goes on forever” so you draw your own conclusions. The limited I’m most looking forward to is Albert Brooks’ Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World, a mocumentary opening in 161 theaters. For me, Brooks’ comedy is always a little hit or miss, but the concept behind this one is too good to pass up. The U.S. government hires Albert Brooks to travel to the Muslim world (except they send him to predominantly Hindu India) and find out what makes Muslims laugh. The hope is that he’ll unlock the key to improving our relations, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Expanding
The New World version 2.0 expands into 811 theaters this weekend, and while I haven’t seen the shorter version of the film released after the one I saw when they shipped it out for Oscar voters, cutting a few minutes off the movie isn’t going to save it. It’s a tedious bore, and worth seeing only if you enjoy watching underage girls kiss Colin Farrell or have a thing for long shots of trees waving in the breeze. This weekend is also Match Point’s first chance at a wider audience. The first semi-decent Woody Allen in over a decade expands into 441 theaters. But the only expander that anyone is likely to notice is Brokeback Mountain, widening out into its first legitimately major release after weeks of mucking around in less than 500 theaters. This weekend Jack and Ennis will try to lasso audiences in 1,100 + theaters, which means that if it’s going to continue to be labeled as a success it’ll need more than just support from extremist liberal wackos or people suffering from heterosexual guilt.
End of the Spear (Opens in 1,158 theaters.)
Political propaganda like Why We Fight gets a limited release, religious missionary propaganda gets a wide release in End of the Spear. Until a week ago, no one knew this film existed. On Monday they began a halfhearted advertising campaign for it, but I doubt many caught the commercials. Frankly, there’s no good reason for this movie to exist, let alone see it. Most reviews seem to peg it as pretty boring, though I’m sure we’ll get plenty of email from religious zealots trumpeting it as an important film. Support secular sanity and boycott End of the Spear.
Underworld : Evolution (Opens in 3,207 theaters.)
Underworld: Evolution is of course the sequel to 2004’s stylistic action/thriller Underworld starring Kate Beckinsale and unfortunately also starring Scott Speedman. The first movie was deservedly well received and since it was made on a mighty small budget earned itself this sequel. The franchise is loaded with potential, but to really tap into it they should have jettisoned some of the sillier things about the first film, particularly the under-talented Scott Speedman and his Smurf costume. They haven’t, and so it might be wise to go into this not expecting much. Unlike a lot of 2006’s other early stinkers, this one was screened for the press, but the screenings were scheduled for 10PM Thursday night, perhaps to delay press coverage on how bad it is until it’s too late to have much effect. That’s just a guess. It may be good, there’s really no way to know with a movie like this. If you’re looking for nothing more than stylistic, high-octane, action-oriented, vampire versus werewolf fun, then Underworld: Evolution might be for you. If you’re looking for a heavy horror oriented fare with vampires and werewolves in it, then skip it. As for myself, I’m eager to give Beckinsale’s tight leather pants another look.
Still in theaters and worth your time: Munich, King Kong, The Chronicles of Narnia
