Ever since he took on the role of ass kicker extraordinaire, Liam Neeson has been labeled as a man that could mow down quite a few baddies in the confines of a feature film. At least, that's what we were lead to believe before the graphic above was released onto the internet this afternoon. For those of you who are hardcore Liam Neeson fans that are convinced of his godly powers of justice, you're going to want to sit down for this one.
eOne Films, an international distributor for A Walk Among The Tombstones, came up with the idea to publish the official "Liam Neeson Kill List" - a supposedly complete list of all of the poor souls that the Irish actor has had the pleasure of sending straight to Hell. I only label it as "supposedly" because there are a couple of issues with this list that become readily apparent when you see what they've included, and start to think about what they haven't.
According to the Liam Neeson Kill Map, Neeson has only killed 123 people. This number automatically loses 20 because Battle Droids aren't people! He wasn't "killing" Battle Droids in Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, at best he was disassembling them through force for recycling purposes. Also, you can knock off another 2 from The Chronicles Of Narnia, as Liam Neeson was really just a voice over in that film. Meanwhile, if there was one film that could have kills added to its count, it has to be Unknown.
While Liam Neeson only offs Aidan Quinn on camera in Unknown, they mention flat out that Neeson's character is an operative that has killed and sabotages countless others before his amnesia kicked in. Surely eOne Films could have calculated an average of deaths to tack onto this list. Seriously, 102 kills, minus droids and lion business? That's not the Liam Neeson we're used to being sold. The Liam Neeson we're used to tore down France in a short amount of time to save his daughter. Our Liam Neeson released the damned Kraken! If this list is going to call itself a complete "Liam Neeson Kill List", it needs to go back and revise itself to include roles Neeson played the bad guy in, as well as minor parts he may have had in films such as Next Of Kin. You can't tell me he didn't kill anyone in a film where he's Patrick Swayze's brother/fellow posse member out for justice?
A Walk Among The Tombstones is in theaters now, and Tak3n will be here before you know it - set to arrive on January 9, 2015. If you'll excuse us, we're going to go over to Page 2 to relive some of our favorite Liam Neeson ass kickings. You're welcome to join us if you like.
Remember all of the ass Liam Neeson kicked in Taken? Personally, my favorite has always been the porthole headshot towards the end. It's surprising, but bad assed. It says, "I'm not hiding, you're just stalling for time."
Even though Unknown was a pretty flat and lifeless mystery thriller, Liam Neeson still had a pretty batshit fight with Aidan Quinn at the end. It's a shame someone hasn't shared it in better quality, because it was either this version or the German dub. While I'm sure Liam Neeson still kicks ass with a German accent, it felt more appropriate to go with the original.
We'll close out this mini festival of ass kicking with a classic, as Liam Neeson puts an end to Tim Roth in the grand finale of Rob Roy. Seriously, can we get another Liam Neeson sword fight in the near future? Oliver Megaton, the gauntlet has been thrown down for Tak3n!