Jaden Smith is probably best known for his role in the Karate Kid remake or his supporting turn in The Pursuit Of Happyness. Willow Smith is probably best known for her song “Whip My Hair”. Thanks to their extremely famous parents, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, they’ve been able to try their hands at pretty much everything. Now, the 16 and 14-year-olds are apparently getting into amateur philosophy because they just gave one of the strangest, most philosophical and most nonsensical interviews in the history of printed media.

The chat took place with T Magazine, and the whole thing is one extended insane piece of drivel. Both teenagers shoot from the hip and deliver some truly extraordinary pieces of faux-philosophy, and damn near every off-handed line could be included in this list. But alas, we only have so much time to read about the musings of the Smith kids; so, we’ve boiled it down to the 5 craziest of the crazy quotes.

Ready?

”Jaden
5) On Driver’s Ed
The Quote: “You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.” – Jaden Smith

The Crazy: This quote is so close to sounding reasonable until you actually think about it for any time whatsoever. It’s like he thinks the entire world is black and white. If someone gets into an accident and took driver’s ed, driver’s ed must have been a failure. By that logic, if a doctor makes a mistake, he may as well not have gone to medical school. Given his stance on no one learning “anything” in school, he might actually think that too.
”Jaden
4) On His Own Goals
The Quote: “I have a goal to be just the most craziest person of all time. And when I say craziest, I mean, like, I want to do like Olympic-level things. I want to be the most durable person on the planet.” – Jaden Smith

The Crazy: We’ll go ahead and put aside the whole “most craziest” thing since, as we know, he wasn’t paying attention in school. Instead, let’s just tackle the general focus of doing “Olympic-level things” that would force him to be “the most durable person” on the planet. What the hell does that mean? He’s going to be World Class at several things, but for some reason, people aren’t going to recognize this and as a result, he’ll need to weather all kinds of hostility, thickening his skin? I guess.
”Willow
3) On Literature
The Quote: “There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.”--- Willow Smith

The Crazy: Hemingway? Salinger? Fitzgerald? Vonnegut? Fuck’em. They have nothing to offer the world. Instead, if you want to expand your mind, write your own novel about whatever it is that interests you and then read it. The mental satisfaction will be enormous. Then, keep it for yourself, I guess. Because if books have nothing to offer anyone who didn’t write them, I guess there’s no point in sharing.
”Jaden
2) On Songwriting
The Quote: “I mean, “Whip My Hair” was a great thing. When I look back I think, “Wow, I did so much for young black girls and girls around the world. Telling them that they can be themselves and to not be afraid to be themselves.” And I’m doing that now but in a whole different way, coming from source energy and universal truths. People will be, like, “Oh, I’m not going to make a song about exactly how I feel, all the bad ways that I feel, and put it out in the world so everyone can judge me.” But for me, it’s a part of me, it’s my artistic journey.” --- Willow Smith

The Crazy: First of all, I think we all need to stop and appreciate what Willow Smith did for the world. She told young women around the world to whip their hair back and forth and that taught them to understand and appreciate themselves. Job well done. Second of all, I think we need to stop and condemn all the other musicians who have ever existed. They’ve stupidly decided NOT to write about their feelings. They have been universally positive and only looked on the bright side. And for that, they should feel shame.
”Jaden
1) On Time (A Sibling Conversation)
The Quote: (Willow)I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.

(Jaden) It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.

(Willow) Because living.

The Crazy: This conversation is like an outtake of a discarded thought that Matthew McConaughey decided to filter. That being said, given the right philosophy professor, it would probably work fine enough as the crux of a college paper. Too bad you apparently never learn anything in school so they won’t get that chance.

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