Homeowner Robbed While Gawking At Naked Woman In His Pool

Most women know how to momentarily distract a man with a glance or an overly forward comment, but to do so for twenty entire minutes requires a gal to bring out the big guns. Let the record show the vixen at the center of this story was more than willing to exchange her modesty for the completion of her mission.

Crossville, Tennessee resident Stephen Amaral was at his home a few weeks ago when the aforementioned woman who lived down the street stopped by alongside her husband. She asked Amaral if they could use the pool but almost immediately after getting the yes, she sent her husband home to fetch some cigarettes. Once he left, she allegedly asked the homeowner if he would mind if she took off her clothes and went skinnydipping. He agreed and within minutes, the thirty-something woman was playing around in full view of the fifty-four-year-old Amaral. No doubt he must have thought he hit the jackpot, but unbeknownst to him, the exact opposite was actually happening. While he was staring at the woman’s unmentionables, a burglar was inside the house stealing his own formerly hidden possessions—like a gun, his medication and some jewelry.

Obviously, Amaral is pretty convinced the mystery thief in question was the naked woman’s husband, but as of press time, police haven’t been able to gather enough evidence to arrest either one of them. So, either they thought this plan through (at last as much as you can think a plan like this through) or a random third party also spotted the naked woman and instead of staring to his heart’s content, he made the most of the flash block and helped himself to more than $1000 worth of Amaral’s stuff. If I was a cop, I’d certainly spend more time investigating the first scenario, but if I was writing an episode of a sitcom or the tamest sex crime episode in the history of Law & Order: SVU, I’d go with the latter.

Here’s what Amaral told WKRN in Tennessee about the theft…

So, either this guy is lying about the actual conversation, or he’s wildly awkward. Who randomly invites a naked woman to church? I know Tennessee is part of the Bible Belt, but that’s weird even for God country. Maybe he thought his mom would read this quote in the paper. That being said, he still didn’t deserve to get his shit stolen. So, I approve of him getting all of it back, minus about two hundred dollars, which I calculate is what he probably would have had to pay a stripper to drive to his house and swim in a pool naked for twenty minutes.

Random naked chicks might ordinarily come with strings attached, but something tells me an overwhelming majority of men, when presented with the situation, will still continue to think, “Let’s just go with this and see what happens…”.