Homeowner Robbed While Gawking At Naked Woman In His Pool

Most women know how to momentarily distract a man with a glance or an overly forward comment, but to do so for twenty entire minutes requires a gal to bring out the big guns. Let the record show the vixen at the center of this story was more than willing to exchange her modesty for the completion of her mission.

Crossville, Tennessee resident Stephen Amaral was at his home a few weeks ago when the aforementioned woman who lived down the street stopped by alongside her husband. She asked Amaral if they could use the pool but almost immediately after getting the yes, she sent her husband home to fetch some cigarettes. Once he left, she allegedly asked the homeowner if he would mind if she took off her clothes and went skinnydipping. He agreed and within minutes, the thirty-something woman was playing around in full view of the fifty-four-year-old Amaral. No doubt he must have thought he hit the jackpot, but unbeknownst to him, the exact opposite was actually happening. While he was staring at the woman’s unmentionables, a burglar was inside the house stealing his own formerly hidden possessions—like a gun, his medication and some jewelry.

Obviously, Amaral is pretty convinced the mystery thief in question was the naked woman’s husband, but as of press time, police haven’t been able to gather enough evidence to arrest either one of them. So, either they thought this plan through (at last as much as you can think a plan like this through) or a random third party also spotted the naked woman and instead of staring to his heart’s content, he made the most of the flash block and helped himself to more than $1000 worth of Amaral’s stuff. If I was a cop, I’d certainly spend more time investigating the first scenario, but if I was writing an episode of a sitcom or the tamest sex crime episode in the history of Law & Order: SVU, I’d go with the latter.

Here’s what Amaral told WKRN in Tennessee about the theft…

"I went and got her a towel, she dried off and all of a sudden she was soaking wet again. I escorted her outside and invited her to church, but she said she didn't have time for that, she wasn't ready for that."

So, either this guy is lying about the actual conversation, or he’s wildly awkward. Who randomly invites a naked woman to church? I know Tennessee is part of the Bible Belt, but that’s weird even for God country. Maybe he thought his mom would read this quote in the paper. That being said, he still didn’t deserve to get his shit stolen. So, I approve of him getting all of it back, minus about two hundred dollars, which I calculate is what he probably would have had to pay a stripper to drive to his house and swim in a pool naked for twenty minutes.

Random naked chicks might ordinarily come with strings attached, but something tells me an overwhelming majority of men, when presented with the situation, will still continue to think, “Let’s just go with this and see what happens…”.

Editor In Chief

Mack Rawden is the Editor-In-Chief of CinemaBlend. He first started working at the publication as a writer back in 2007 and has held various jobs at the site in the time since including Managing Editor, Pop Culture Editor and Staff Writer. He now splits his time between working on CinemaBlend’s user experience, helping to plan the site’s editorial direction and writing passionate articles about niche entertainment topics he’s into. He graduated from Indiana University with a degree in English (go Hoosiers!) and has been interviewed and quoted in a variety of publications including Digiday. Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.