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Jumpin Jehosaphat! Lauren Conrad And Jason Sex Tape

For the last three years, Lauren Conrad has epitomized the sweet, innocent girl amidst the obscene wealth, underage drinking, and debauchery of Orange County. For two heartbreaking seasons, American teenagers envied her morals and lusted after her smoking hot body. It now appears she may not be quite the virginal girl next door people had assumed.

Gossip guru and Queen of all media Perez Hilton is reporting that an inside source has spilled the beans on an LC sex tape. Apparently, LC's former boyfriend, 'Laguna' star Jason Wahler, convinced the blonde bombshell to let the camera roll during a sexual escapade. Like most illogical teenage relationships, deception and jealousy soon entered the fold, and it imploded more explosively than the Challenger.

After the destructive split, Lauren demanded the tape's return, however Jason stalled and made copies. The douche bag then handed over one of the replicas, and now he plans on selling the original to the highest bidder. That's capitalism at its best. If LC had taken economics in high school, she would know that too.

Over/Under on how many hours I will spend viewing said video? I'm guessing less time than Lauren will spend cursing God after this train wreck. Besides, Kristin was hotter anyways.

Mack Rawden
Mack Rawden

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, the NBA and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.