Of Course Someone Wants To Sue The NFL Over JLo And Shakira's Halftime 'Porn Show'

Jennifer Lopez pole dance in Super Bowl LIV 2020 Halftime show NFL

The Super Bowl 2020 halftime show got a lot of fans talking and at least one man threatening to sue the NFL. Jennifer Lopez and Shakira performed separately and together for the halftime show, which was loved by many fans but also hit with backlash from some folks who thought it was inappropriate for young viewers.

A former Ohio high school football coach who is now a Christian talk show host said he wants to sue the NFL and its major sponsors for not warning viewers about the "porn show" ahead:

I was appalled at what I saw — what I thought was a porn show — at halftime during the Super Bowl. My greatest complaint isn’t the halftime show itself. It’s the fact that the NFL gave no warning. Here we are watching a football game, next thing you know, a porn show breaks out.

That's what Dave Daubenmire said via Fox8 in Cleveland. In a classic Think Of The Children meme out of The Simpsons, he said this isn't about him, it's about the kids who may have been watching TV without supervision:

However, it’s not about me, it’s about the innocent children. Maybe there wasn’t a parent in the room to change the channel.

Hmmm, if there isn't a parent in the room to change the channel, maybe that's not the NFL's fault? Maybe the kids could even change the channel themselves to actual porn without supervision? Or set the house on fire. It's possible a parent's job is to parent, but that's just my take.

Dave Daubenmire said he met with an attorney and plans to move forward with his lawsuit. He wants a warning on TV about the content ahead:

Put a warning up there, cautioning parents that some of the content you might see might not be suitable for young children. I personally resent the fact that they invaded the privacy of my home with stuff I would never look at it if I had a choice.

Of course, he did have a choice. The Super Bowl halftime show was 14 minutes long, starting with Shakira. If he didn't like it right from the start, he could've changed the channel or turned the TV off, walked out of the room, anything. No unwelcome TV content really invades your privacy or I'd have sued those annoying Charmin commercials by now. (I get it! Your hiney is clean! STFU about it.)

There was a lot of footage to sit through before Jennifer Lopez broke out her Hustlers pole dancing moves, so if anyone was glued to the TV the whole time, shaking their heads in disgust, that was a choice. Plus, as others have pointed out when it comes to Shakira's sparkly red costume, it's the same outfit her character wore in the Disney movie Zootopia, which is probably sitting in many family homes right now.

Apparently this gentleman is familiar with lawsuits from the other side; he was reportedly sued in the 1990s by the ACLU for mixing prayer with coaching at his school.

Super Bowl LIV is far from the first halftime show to be controversial. We all remember NippleGate, when Justin Timberlake ripped Janet Jackson's costume and a wardrobe malfunction bared her breast -- which she got blamed for as if she was stripping instead of Timberlake accidentally exposing her body to millions. Many fans also complained about Maroon 5's halftime show last year, for any number of reasons.

Breaking news: Not everyone agrees on everything. But not everyone breaks out a lawsuit when they don't like something.

So here's a WARNING! I don't want to scare you -- or any children in your vicinity -- but I'm about to post the full Pepsi Super Bowl LIV Halftime show video from the NFL. Look out! It's coming!

All in all, it was a fairly eventful Super Bowl. The Chiefs won, making Paul Rudd very happy and Wilford Brimely a bit confused. Commercials aired with everyone from Game of Thrones' Jason Momoa and Maisie Williams to icons Bill Murray and (somehow) Martin Scorsese. And speaking of "porn," I guess, a woman stormed the field, got arrested, and mooned everyone. Too bad no one warned the poor children that was coming either.

Gina Carbone

Gina grew up in Massachusetts and California in her own version of The Parent Trap. She went to three different middle schools, four high schools, and three universities -- including half a year in Perth, Western Australia. She currently lives in a small town in Maine, the kind Stephen King regularly sets terrible things in, so this may be the last you hear from her.