While Star Wars fans probably won't be seeing Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker anymore after The Rise of Skywalker, the actor has recently been as busy as ever with a variety of live-action and voice-acting roles in the past few years. (Even a secret Mandalorian cameo!) His most memorable appearance is probably Jim the Vampire on FX's What We Do In the Shadows, but this video clip from Darren Criss' Quibi comedy Royalties may very well come out on top. After all, where else can anybody watch Hamill singing a country-western ditty about the size of King Kong's penis?
That was a rhetorical question, of course, assuming that Mark Hamill doesn't have a massive Prince-esque archive with hundreds of unreleased tracks about classic movie monster genitalia. For Royalties, Hamill took on the role of country star Philip Combs, who brought to life Pierce and Sara's punny and joyously immature song "Mighty as Kong." If the length of the song doesn't wow you – wink, wink – just remember it's all about how Philip Combs works it. Check out the video, as shared by Darren Criss.
These kinds of song-style parodies really do need to go the extra step in order to stand out at this point amongst "Weird" Al's legacy, The Lonely Island's genius, and the sheer volume of content put forth by YouTube creators. But I think it's safe to say that Mark Hamill's "Mighty as Kong" video definitely stands out. (But not that far, if you catch my drift.)
Quibi's Royalties stars Glee's Darren Criss (who also serves as co-creator) and Pitch Perfect's Kether Donohue as songwriters Pierce and Sara, whose goal in each episode is to create a great song. Within the episode, "Mighty as Kong" is inspired by a fling Sara has, where the guy quasi-defended his less-than-average penis size by claiming that the ancient mega-ape's own penis would only be five inches long. The farce was strong with that guy, amirite?
Other Royalties episodes have featured equally offbeat performances from musicians such as Rufus Wainwright and Jordan Fisher, but Mark Hamill's "Mighty as Kong" has clearly become the zenith of anything that could ever stream on Quibi, on this show or otherwise. After all, you won't hear any other shows on the mobile streaming app offering up anything like these song lyrics:
I'm not as big as I'd like to be. She came to my jungle. She laughed at me. So I sat her down and told his story because I'm an American man with an American song taking an American stand on my American dong.
Sure, it's a song about a mythical monster from an imaginary island, but he eventually climbed that Empire State Building. And dammit, if that doesn't make King Kong's story an American one, which only an American can tell properly. Because America.
Fans of Royalties won't have long to wait to hear "Mighty as Kong" in places beyond YouTube and Quibi, as the comedy series will be releasing an official soundtrack for Season 1 on July 3. Before that, though, check out new episodes releasing on the streaming service each day until all ten episodes are out. For those in need of more to watch in the coming months, head to our Summer 2020 TV premiere schedule.
