Nip/Tuck Recap: Walter and Edith Kreiger

If there was a God inside the television, it would be revealed in Nip/Tuck's finale that everything thus far were sequences from an extremely detailed nightmare inside the mind of Vincent, the dog from Lost. I think it would serve its purpose here. Tonight's episode predictably brought back characters from the past to tie up loose ends, and unpredictably touched upon the Holocaust in a patient plotline that didn't seem to connect thematically with the doctors' plotline. Unless you feel that Matt should be thrown in a gas chamber and mass buried with most of these other characters, and I say that sensitively.

Edith and Walter Kreiger, against the wishes of their daughter Allie,wish to get their WWII survivor tattoos removed from their arms,. A genuinely enjoyable couple to watch, Edith and Walter have led a long life and wish to be free of horrible reminders, which Allie thinks only aids the front of Holocaust deniers. But while under anesthesia, Walter says suspicious things which leads him to confess to being a Nazi tattoo artist, much to Edith's dismay. Though Edith eventually forgives Walter enough to show him simple niceties, daughter Allie has reported him to the authorities. Bye bye, Walter. Apparently one of Nip/Tuck's writers watched the news at some point in the past year.

The two most dramalicious women this show has produced are back. I'm talking about saucer-eyed Julia, and I'm talking about saucer-anussed Ava (Famke Janssen). If you'll recall, Ava is the sorta-incestuous T-girl that Matt had tons of awkward sex with a few seasons ago. All three of these characters have big news. Matt's getting married to his lady, and he in fact does not want Christian and Sean out of his life forever like he said two episodes ago. (But then nothing Matt says ever fucking matters as soon as it passes his lips.) Julia is also getting married (to a dude), and wants to take the kids to England, where the hubby-to-be lives. And finally, Eva adopted a child recently freed from black fever. She would like the physical effects of the disease surgically removed, and guess who she came to. It'll all end well, right?

Well of course Sean initially freaks out about his kids living across the globe. After a conversation with Sean, who speaks of his lingering feelings for Julia, Christian takes Julia out and tries to have sex with her. He gets shot down though, but not before some massive making out. Then after Christian tells Sean about it, Sean then gets touchy-feely with her and asks her to spend the night. This guy just can't avoid doing everything that Christian does. It's lazy writing, even if it's point is just to prove that Julia is over both of these guys, linking them together as everybody else has been doing. Sean eventually hands over the consent papers, just like you knew he would.

Ava lays her cards on the table and asks for the doctors to do her child's surgery, and is promptly denied. She shows up at Sean's house in a second attempt, but after Sean asks about the child's doctor, Ava confesses that there was no adoption, and blames a lack of proper childcare in the child's native country. Sean kicks her out, so she visits Matt at work next, and gives him an envelope full of money as a wedding present. When Matt visits her to return the money, they do the beast with two backs (or with two sets of genitalia, accordingly). When Matt attempts to get Sean and Christian to do the surgery, he's talked back into his senses by the guys, and feels good about his wedding again. There is a fantastic moment here when. as the doctors read their newspapers, Matt admits to sleeping with Ava, and there's a large amount of classically comedic groaning and paper rustling.

At the next day's backyard wedding, Matt receives a text message which prompts him to walk through the house and to the street, where Ava is standing outside a limousine. Without saying a word, Matt enters the limo, and the two ride off as Sean runs out of the house, confused by what he's seeing. After all, Matt said not two minutes earlier how good he felt about being a married man. What did I tell you? This last bit was pretty intriguing all in all, even if it probably won't amount to much. I like that Julia is pretty much getting sewn out of the picture. Maybe next week Bobolit comes back, just maybe? Oh, and Liz's pregnancy is going well, and the baby is healthy. After the "Last Week on..." opening mentioned her pregnancy, I thought it might come up more in the show, but no, pretty much just the update. One more enjoyable thing was the surgery music was a German song sung by Walter in the operating room. A nice touch that ends on Julia's introduction in the episode, which ruins it. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Nick Venable
Assistant Managing Editor

Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.