Ok, someone explain something to me. Mike says he’s a loyal guy. So how is pissing off the Head of Household and getting himself put up on the block supposed to help him save Kail, who is also nominated? Tonight’s episode of ‘Big Brother’ was full of highs and lows. Eric completed his latest “AmERICa’s Player” task, Zach went streaking, Mike threw himself upon the sword and Kail took Amber’s house-crier title for the week.

Eric’s task was to vandalize someone’s personal property. America chose Jen to be the victim and Eric was all too thrilled to complete the task. He squirted mustard all over one of Jen’s “Jen” shirts and then joined in with the rest of the house as they tried to figure out who did it and why. I’ll admit, I laughed a bit when Eric said if anyone puts mustard on anything of his, he will beat the living sh** out of them. Nice touch, Eric.

There was a random segment shown involving Zach being challenged to streak through the backyard and jump into the pool. Either Zach really cant back down from a challenge or he doesn’t care that the internet is watching his every move because he accepted this challenge and sprinted through the yard wearing nothing but a smile. CBS was kind enough to censor out his junk.

When it came time to play for the veto, Dick made it clear that Kail was his primary target. After Zach, Jessica and Nick were selected to play alongside Dick, Kail and Jen, the houseguests broke for an hour. Last week that break consisted of Jen threatening the houseguests and a lot of arguing. This week Dick set out to get under Kail’s skin by calling her out for saying she’d rally the house to get Jen out. After he did that he told Jen about it and reminded her to make sure she doesn’t do anything to help Kail.

Just as I began to think Kail wasn’t going to let Dick get to him, he confronted her again, this time in front of Jen. Dick got her cage good and rattled just in time for them to go out and compete in the Veto.

The competition had a Mad-Hatter theme (thanks for explaining that to us, Jessica), which involved the houseguests standing on a pillar wearing a tall hat. They had to balance a glass on the hat and whoever kept their glass on the hat the longest won. Kail went out almost immediately. Either she was too on edge after Dick’s public confrontation or her balance failed her, her glass went down, she got down off her pillar and went into the bedroom to crawl under the covers.

After that, the rest of the houseguests came out dressed in ridiculous costumes and acting crazy to try and get the Veto competitors to laugh and lose their balance. Jessica, Zach and Nick didn’t put up much of a fight and went down one by one. When it came down to Dick and Jen, Dick tried to get Jen to throw the competition. Jen made the wise decision not to give up the Veto despite Dick’s advise and assurance that Kail would be the one going home.

Mike seemed determined to get Dick to lose his balance while everyone else targeted Jen. How Mike thought getting Dick to lose the Veto was beneficial to him, I don’t know. If he really wanted to be loyal, he’d stay out of it and help Kail campaign against Jen. Kail obviously didn’t consider this strategy either because she encouraged Mike with this plan and helped him try and think of funny things to do.

He tried to be funny by pretending to be a baby and sucking on a bottle but if anything that just came off as creepy. He then went with Kail’s approach by doing something sexual. He proceeded to eat whipped cream off his bare chest. When Dick asked him why he was trying so hard to make him lose, Mike started to feel threatened. Dick told him if Jen comes off the block he’ll go up. Mike didn’t argue with this and put on the tough-guy act. Dick called his bluff and stepped off the pillar, forfeiting the Veto to Jen.

After the competition Dick seemed to get a bit power-trippy. He got irritated when Nick, Zach and Jen were hanging out by themselves in the HoH room. He was convinced they were talking game. They appeared to just be sitting around until Nick asked them both to leave so he could listen to music. Dick went up and kicked Nick out. The two later had a discussion about Nick’s loyalty. Nick insisted that he cares for Daniele and is loyal to her above anyone else.

Daniele then had a very emotional and dramatic conversation with her dad about his attitude. That didn’t really go anywhere and seriously started to look like a bad soap opera for a while. I have about as much interest in watching them fight as I do in watching Daniele flirt with Nick and then insist she has a boyfriend. BB, give us more of Dustin prancing around in the unitard or even Jen’s emotionally vacant diary room sessions!

As expected, Dick once again lived up to his word and put Mike up when Jen used the Veto to remove herself from the block. Dick made a point of talking about Mike’s idiotic move in the diary room earlier and declaring it even dumber than Marcellas’ infamous Veto blunder back in his season.

One final complaint before I wrap up this recap. I wish the houseguests would stop saying that God has anything to do with how well they do in the house. The game isn’t in God’s hands! Pray for strength. Pray you don’t humiliate your families or that the internet doesn’t get a screenshot of you picking your nose. Don’t pray for God to help you win the Veto. For some reason that just bothers me but then again, I’m not locked up in that house. I suppose that’d be enough to mess with anyone’s perspective.

Who Would You Like To See Evicted This Week?

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