We open pretty much where we left off last season, with Jake Green seeing the table on which his father died. He is joined by a bloody Phil Constantino and some soldiers. If you watched last season, you’ll remember the Army getting to Jericho right as the fighting started. After nearly 200 deaths, the skirmish has ended and the military is taking over.

When we come back from commercials, it’s four weeks after the fight between Jericho and New Burn, and 6 months after the nuclear bombs were detonated, wiping out half of the country. There’s TV now, which is a huge improvement. The news is reporting that Iran and North Korea are behind the attacks, but Hawkins proved that the plot actually came from within the US government (specifically a man named Valente who worked for DHS). By the way, the two sheriffs in this scene are eating nuts while watching the news, which is just kind of awesome.

Back in town, Jake meets up with Emily. They make out for a while, and she tells him that Jennings & Rall is helping with day to day stuff that the military can’t handle. When we see the J&R people in their matching blue Polos handing out fliers, my boyfriend and I immediately think they’re Jericho’s stand-in for Scientologists. Jake is skeeved out by their presence, but he's not angry, unlike the man who was walking down the street trying to gun people down. Luckily Jake tackled him and crisis was averted, just in time to see the new flag with 21 stars and vertical stripes being raised. At the police station, Jake runs into Heather, who recognizes the man who was just arrested.

Back at the farm, Stanley tells Mimi that he owns his farm again, now that he’s set up a plan with J&R in which he promises them a portion of his crop for three years…which does not sound nefarious at all. Despite the fact that Mimi works for the IRS and is ostensibly smart, she sees this as a good thing and asks Stanley to marry her. He stammers and she freaks out. There’s some back and forth, and then they agree to get married. Good luck with that one, kids.

At the police station, Jake is with his brother and Gray Anderson. Major Beck tells them that Jericho is on the fast track to recovery, but the bad news is that they’re giving amnesty to New Burn. Constantino has been removed from office, but in the spirit of forgiveness, they’re letting the whole war thing slide. Jake protests that no one will be happy until Constantino is dead. This go-getter attitude leads Beck to offer the job of Jericho Sheriff to Jake. Jake’s first task? It’s still killing Constantino. That Jake, he’s not much for “forgive and forget.”

Beck comes down to the tavern to see what was up with Heather and the gunman. She tells him that he’s one of Constantino’s deputies that was ordered to execute her. Obviously, that didn’t work, but she still says that he was “one of the worst.” Beck then offers her the job of Jericho/New Burn liaison.

Jake invites Hawkins to her New Burn raid planning session, and Hawkins smartly points out how stupid his plan is. Basically, the heat’s on him and if Jake were smart, he’d wait three months and then kill Constantino in his sleep. Even Jake’s brother (who looks creepily like Eli Manning) tells him he should sit this one out. Do you think Jake will heed this reasonable advice? Yeah, me neither.

Beck tries his hand at scaring Jake straight by showing him the body of the gunman from earlier. Apparently, they released him, he went back to New Burn, got two more guys with guns and headed back to Jericho. They opened fire on Beck and his men, so they shot them. Beck tells Jake that’s what happens when people don’t let vendettas die.

Mimi marches down to the creepy J&R tent after reading the jacked up contract that Stanley signed. She demands that they rip off the contracts, saying that they coerced him into signing a contract to pay off a tax that due to amnesty, he probably doesn’t even owe. The perky blonde tells Mimi that she’s going to have to take it up with her boss. Guys, that company is soooo creepy.

Oh my God, Emily has the most ratty-ass extensions this side of Britney Spears.

While Jake and Emily’s extensions are talking, Mary comes in to tell them that Eric has gotten a couple of guns and a couple of rangers and are heading down to New Burn under the cover of…broad daylight. Jake looks appropriately concerned.

Darcy, Hawkins’ wife goes to Hawkins’ safe house to show him all of the papers that she’s pilfered in the last few days from Beck’s fax machine. They show that the government is looking for Sarah, not him as a possible terrorist. Just as she’s showing him the paperwork, somebody drops a military smoke grenade outside of the house. It turns out that the soldier who was suspicious of Darcy used to work with Hawkins and is paying him a little visit. With a gun.

Apparently they’re riding really slow horses, because it’s dark by the time Jake catches up with Eric and the rangers. They’re having a fight about who loved their dad more when the military pulls up. Jake sells Beck some lame story about protecting their borders and Beck takes them home like the naughty children they are.

Mimi comes home after getting J&R to bend to her will and put Stanley in the free and clear. Stanley also whips out his mother’s wedding ring and proposes to her the way he wanted to--without her talking so much.

Back at the safe house, the Hawkins’ and Chavez discuss the governmental conspiracy behind the nuclear bombs. Apparently, they’ve gone so far as to wipe both North Korea and Iran off the map in order to stick with their story. Hawkins points out that he can blow the lid off of this whole cover-up since he has one of the nuclear bombs.

Jake stops by Beck’s office to take him up on that job offer. Beck also tells him that the president is on his way. It looks like there’s a new Sheriff in town, Jericho. Ha ha…eh.

Next Week: The conspiracy unravels, the president comes to Jericho.

So, there we go. That’s the season premiere of the almost-dead-but-saved Jericho. Was it everything you had hoped for, or are you wondering what all of the fuss is about? Personally, I could have done with more explosions, but that’s pretty much my complaint about every show. American Idol? More explosions = awesome.

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