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The season finale of Jersey Shore is set to air tonight at ten. While things appeared to be wrapping up last week, the drama is far from over as the cast reunites for tonight’s finale to rehash the happenings of their summer at the Shore. The clip we have to show you features Mike “The Situation” feeling ganged up on...
It seems, once again, the cast of Jersey Shore’s fifteen minutes of fame has been extended. Even a pregnancy, an engagement and two spinoff series won’t keep Jersey Shore from chugging right along and into its sixth season. MTV has reportedly renewed the series for more Jersey fun in the sun. And Season 6 comes with a twist.
The gang returns from camping to find Vinny and Pauly in a tiny kiddie pool in the living room, and when Snooki discovers her missing stuff, she curses a blue streak and flips out. Everyone freaks out. It would be cute if it wasn't so clearly planned by the producers. Oh, the living room is outside! So we watch everyone waa waa waaa about this for fifteen minutes. Mike starts crying, which is my favorite part.
It's awful. And I'm really not in the mood for a snarkeriffic recap. So, I'm going to give you the short short version as I recollect myself for next week, when we can all giggle about these terrible human beings again.
It seemed like it was just a fad, at first. A brief fascination on the part of TV viewers for a group of self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes. And then it turned into the song that never end, as season after season, the cast of Jersey Shore reunites for more shenanigans. Will it ever end? From the sound of it, it’s undecided at this point.
Snooki tells the crew what happened, and Pauly is jealous. They all sit on Vinny's bed, and Vinny mopes, with his bottom lip sticking out like an upside-down duck bill. Oh, DUCK PHONE. Deena gets a call from someone named Joey, who wants to see her sometime. Uh, okay. So, they all go to Jenks...and ANGELINA IS THERE. UH OH. Mike throws a random girl in the cab.
Remember last week when some girl tore out some other girl's weave? Yeah, we're back at the club, where everyone decides it's time to go home. Snooki is all "IMMA GETITIN" because she hasn't seen Jionni in a week and she's "really excited to touch his ****." I think, for her particular breed of pygmy marmoset or whatever, that the genitalia of overmuscled idiots is like the Blarney Stone: you have to kiss it for good luck.
Seriously, though...you can crunk your way through a shift and then it's all better with baked goods? I am in the wrong line of work, kids. This is not a message I want to be sending. Oh, but then the next morning, someone eats a chunk of the cake. MYSTERY! Deena Sherlock-Holmes her way on over to Mike, but there's no evidence on film.
More Jersey Shore adventures await. Actually, the clips that we have to show you from tonight’s episode seem decidedly lacking in adventure, unless you count the bromantic day-date Pauly and Vinny take together. We also learn that Snooki has trouble telling time, or rather, she has “no idea how to speak clock language.”
Mike calls his "boy" the Unit to tell the whole story of Snooki's cheating, but the Unit is in Miami, and there's something about Deena's sister sleeping with Mike's brother, and it's really gross. Mike is pretty much Joan Rivers at this point. I keep expecting his lips to fall off. Which would be interesting, y'know, and save us a lot of trouble. So then he hangs up and the duck phone begins weeping in shame. I would, too.
Late last month, we learned that Snooki and JWoww’s Jersey Shore spin-off hit a snag when the Hoboken mayor’s office denied their request to film there. Now it looks like they’ve found an alternative, which still keeps them in Jersey but also within commuting distance to New York City. Jersey City, here they come!
With each season of Jersey Shore, I feel less and less sorry for the women who end up being branded “grenades” by the guys on that show. It’s not that I condone the terminology, but by Season 5, people should know better. And yet, my heart still goes out to the girl featured in one of the clips we have to show you from tonight’s episode.
Jimmy Kimmel Live has the best online presence of any of the late-night talk show hosts. It's no coincidence that he's become such a big hit online because his sketches and skits are perfectly suited for the virality of the internet. We've already shared a few of his more popular and hilarious videos but this one might take the cake. Academy Award nominee Gary Oldman plus MTV's The Jersey Shore equals priceless.
Pauly joyously shouts that he and Vinny need the Smush Room...which answers all sorts of questions. Love knows no color and gender, people. Hey, remember when he left like seven minutes ago, when he had depression and crippling anxiety attacks? That's all gone.
Based on one of the clips we have to show you from tonight’s episode of Jersey Shore, Snooki seems to think she’s able to treat what may be an actual medical situation with what sounds like very questionable veterinary technician knowledge.