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Here's What Portland Would Look Like In GTA 6

There's a small compendium of local flavors, activities and local attractions in Portland, Oregon listed in a piece that explains why the city would be the perfect place for Grand Theft Auto VI. There's a few explanations on how the strip clubs, gun shops and coffee outlets make Portland an excellent destination for the action crime-drama.

Movoto, a real-estate website, gives a list of reasons why Rockstar should consider heading to Portland next for GTA VI. But why exactly Portland? Well, according to Movoto's method of picking a city it seemed like the best fit, with the article noting...

“Using Yelp, we narrowed our results for each category just within the city limits of Portland and then looked at the total number of results. Not quite rocket science.”

It may not be rocket science, but they do have a few reasons as to why Portland fits the crime theme so well. According to the article, Portland has nine gun shops... that's right... nine. That's not a whole lot but if a zombie outbreak did occur at least people would be able to get to a gun shop within a reasonable amount of time. Compared to Los Santos in GTA V, it's a few shops short of the standard, though. Los Santos contained 11 gun shops. That's actually not a whole lot, but it's enough to ensure that they're even better equipped for a zombie outbreak... or, a criminal crime-wave. Still, I'm a bit shocked that Portland has as many gun shops as it does.

Something you might be genuinely shocked about is the amount of adult entertainment Portlander have access to. With strip clubs playing a key part in many GTA games, from GTA: Vice all the way up to GTA V, there's no reason to overlook Portland as being up to the task, since they have 81 strip joints and all. Yep, 81.

Surprisingly there aren't as many police stations in Portland as you might have imagined (a sign that crime isn't so bad there?) well the city only has six police stations. That's right, only six. How many does GTA V's Los Santos have? 12. Yeah, it's a pretty big gap where you have double the amount of coppers that are patrolling and ready to pounce on you at any second in Los Santos compared to Portland. They would likely have to ramp that number up significantly to give the player any remote chance of challenge... unless Portland is known for gang-warfare and dangerous biker clubs?

The one thing that really takes the cake are all the coffee shops in Portland. While restaurants are featured in GTA games, the coffee shops themselves didn't make an appearance until GTA IV. However, GTA V only had 10 coffee shops. That seems reasonable enough. Portland completely trumps that number in a catastrophic way with their massive 637 coffee shops. Insane right? That must mean Portland caters to a whole lot of hipsters.

To give us an idea of what a GTA 6 in Portland would be like, Movoto even created a map for the virtual version. You can check it out in the gallery below.

Personally, I don't really think Portland would make for a good city at all. It would be like Omaha, Nebraska or Branson, Missouri. It's a little like... why? Most times Rockstar looks for specific themes, visual elements and cultural density to exploit to build and shape the game around. The whole point is to satirize themes people are most familiar with regarding that city. Is Portland really standout enough that people who don't live there will actually “get it”? I tend to doubt that.

GTA V is currently available for home consoles and launches on PC on January 27th, later this month. GTA VI is likely a far ways off given that Rockstar will likely want to milk GTA Online for quite some time until they're ready to let go of it and move on toward something bigger and better.

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.