While the festival and critical success of Richard Linklater’s Before Midnight was hardly a surprise, the positive reactions to Harmony Korine’s grime-and-glitz drama Spring Breakers was a definite curveball, giving the director his first sorta-mainstream success, and reminding everyone that Selena Gomez is a woman now. And far, far away from that particular brand of cinematic prowess lives the above trailer (via Apple) for Getaway, a kidnapping crime thriller directed by Courtney Solomon (An American Haunting) and Yaron Levy, which stars Ethan Hawke and Gomez and a gravel-throated Jon Voigt. If drinking games are your thing, take a shot for every other movie this derivative plotline reminds you of.

Hawke plays a man whose wife (Rebecca Budig) has been taken by a mysterious villain. The hero has to speed around town doing whatever the guy says in order to make sure his wife stays alive (they actually make this point twice in the two-and-a-half-minute trailer, in case some people were confused about a minute in). Somewhere along the way, Gomez tries to carjack him and gets herself caught up in the plot, since Hawke doesn’t have what it takes to get rid of her.

There has to be some kind of missing piece of the puzzle that gets revealed in the movie, because there is entirely too much going on here, with all the speeding cars and explosions. Apparently Hawke’s character is some kind of a daredevil or a stunt driver or something possibly more nefarious, because not only is he having to follow a stranger’s instructions, but there are mass amounts of bad guys following him and he's driving a ridiculously nice car. I’m pretty sure I saw a rocket launcher in there somewhere. Voigt’s villain seems to be informed purely by mayhem over sensible behavior, and I’m guessing he wants Hawke to take out his own enemies. But I’ll have to stop guessing what the plot will be about, lest I get carbon monoxide poisoning from the trailer’s fumes.

Admittedly, Getaway has a slick and confident look to it that could make this a breakout hit for the co-directors if the story – from newbie screenwriters Sean Finegan and Gregg Maxwell Parker – can possibly keep up with the hectic pace of everything happening on screen. We can all find out for ourselves when the film hits theaters August 30, 2013.

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