Farts are funny. Hysterical, even. And gas emitted by two-time Academy Award-winning actors? Those are the funniest of them all. In fact, if you were able to make it through this upcoming story about the time Paul Bettany hit Tom Hanks so hard that Hanks ripped one without laughing until tears stream down your cheeks, well, then you are a better person than I.

Paul Bettany has been doing press to promote his new movie Mortdecai, where he plays Johnny Depp’s manservant. And during a seemingly innocent conversation with Yahoo Movies UK, the Avengers: Age of Ultron star started discussing fight scenes that he has had with massive, A-list stars. He apparently was ordered by Harrison Ford to punch him harder and harder during a fight sequence. From there, Bettany transitions -- totally unprompted -- into a terrific story about punching Tom Hanks so hard on the set of Ron Howard’s The Da Vinci Code that the Oscar winner passed gas. Bettany recalls:
I punched him, and he farted. And I didn’t know what the… I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. Whether you mention it or – as an Englishman, I felt as if I should say, ‘Oh God, sorry! I farted!’ He just looked at me and said, ‘You just made me fart. Isn’t that funny?’ And I loved him for it."

You actually need to watch the video, primarily to hear Johnny Depp’s totally bizarre ad lib that he drops in the middle of the story. It’s so far out of left field, and much like Mortdecai, it tries to be funny, but fails. Listen:



We’re not breaking new ground by finding farts funny. In fact, there’s a whole video series dedicated to the fine art of dropping fart noises into the uncomfortable silences that exist in some of your favorite film and television shows.



And for whatever reason, the Internet loves applying farts to Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel:



We can’t wait until the Web gets its hands on Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. For now, it’s just funny that Paul Bettany threw Tom Hanks under the fart bus. Let’s see how everyone’s favorite Bosom Buddy (and the star of Ron Howard’s upcoming Inferno) responds.

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