Justin Bieber Vs Tom Cruise: Who Would Win In An Actual, Physical Fight?
Tom Cruise has taken on international terrorists, an alien invasion and mummies, in his movies at least. Yet, could he have finally met his match in Justin Bieber?
The pop star recently broke the internet last week by calling out to the Oscar-nominated actor with this eyebrow-raising tweet:
While Tom Cruise did not respond and Justin Bieber later admitted that the tweet was a joke, the fight challenge became one of the most talked about things on the internet, inciting ridicule and countless memes. Even MMA champion Conor McGregor volunteered to host the event and other known celebrities chimed in with advice, such as Kevin Smith in this tweet below:
Just the idea of these two pitted against each other in a mixed martial arts cage match is entertaining enough, but it does pique my curiosity. Considering that both have undergone training in combat at one time or another, who would be the victor in an all out fight: Tom Cruise or Justin Bieber?
First of all, Tom Cruise and Justin Bieber could not be anymore different, fame and wealth aside. So, how about we begin by pointing out how these two match up.
Tom Cruise stands at 5’7”, which is just two inches below Justin Bieber’s height. Cruise also has only two pounds on the singer, so it appears they are at least in the same weight class.
Not to mention, Justin Bieber is not inexperienced in combat, having trained for the sport for years. In fact, Floyd Mayweather said in 2014 that Bieber had the skill to be a full-fledged MMA champion. However, Bieber and Mayweather apparently severed ties in 2017, so it does not look like the boxer would have his back.
On the other hand, Tom Cruise, being one of the most bankable action stars in Hollywood, also has undergone training for several films, especially as Ethan Hunt in the Mission: Impossible franchise since 1996. In fact, Cruise’s fighting experience dates back to his time as a competing member of Glen Ridge High School’s wrestling team in the late 1970s.
Therefore, Tom Cruise has been fighting long before Justin Bieber was even born. Of course, while high school wrestling and mixed martial arts incorporate vastly distinct fighting style, Cruise is no rookie to bare knuckle brawling either, as can be seen from his performance in 1992’s Far and Away as prosperous boxer Joseph Donnelly, opposite then-wife Nicole Kidman.
Come to think of it, it is actually surprising that Tom Cruise never responded to Justin Bieber’s tweet since he is rarely one to back down from a challenge. Even with all the injuries the 56-year-old actor has suffered from on set, most recently while filming Mission: Impossible - Fallout, he is always down to risk his neck (not just for his craft, but for the thrill) in some of the most insane stunts ever put to film, such as hanging from an airborne helicopter or scaling the tallest building in the world.
What sort of stunts has Justin Bieber pulled off? Unless you count crashing a few cars while intoxicated or running away from an angry Orlando Bloom at a club, not too much.
When I imagine the fight itself, I picture a boiling, red-faced Tom Cruise, eyes furiously darting forward and both fists held out in anticipation. Justin Bieber, at the other end of the ring, appears dumbstruck, tears coming down from his doe-eyed gaze into the inevitably painful consequences of his own selfish indulgence.
At the ring of the bell, Tom Cruise begins charging wildly at the boy, as Justin Bieber runs to his left, then right, then left again, until attempting to scale the walls of the cage to escape. He makes it about seven feet up, when he appears afraid to continue climbing, but too scared to climb down, at which point Cruise yells out, “Not so easy, is it?”
Finally, in a brief moment of inner peace, Justin Bieber thinks to himself, "What would the Beliebers say? “How could you, Justin? Afraid of Tom Cruise? You let us down!"
Allowing his fear of further public embarrassment to fuel his ambition, Justin Bieber takes one deep breath and leaps away from the cage wall, aiming his body toward the head of Tom Cruise. Before his feet are even within a few inches of Cruise’s head, Cruise grasps Bieber’s legs and throws him down onto the mat.
Justin Bieber remains lying on the floor, motionless until the ref counts down to Tom Cruise being named the victor. This is not due to unconsciousness; he is perfectly awake, but afraid of what Cruise will do next if he gets up.
Well, given that neither Tom Cruise nor Justin Bieber actually have any future interest in an MMA fight, we may never see this event take place. However, man, do I want to see it now!
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Jason has been writing since he was able to pick up a washable marker, with which he wrote his debut illustrated children's story, later transitioning to a short-lived comic book series and (very) amateur filmmaking before finally settling on pursuing a career in writing about movies in lieu of making them. Look for his name in just about any article related to Batman.
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