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In Defense Of Dog The Bounty Hunter

Dog the Bounty Hunter is not a racist. Well, ok, maybe he is a racist but if he is we don’t know about it. We’ve just heard him use the word “nigger”. Hey, I just used that word. Wait a minute, does that make me a racist too? To the sorts of people jumping all over him like a pack of wild hyenas, I guess it probably does.

In case you’ve been living a better life than me and have been out of touch with society while sunning on a tropical beach for the past few days, let me get you up to speed. Duane “Dog” Chapman, star of the fairly popular A&E reality series Dog the Bounty Hunter had a private conversation with his son. His son recorded the conversation, and then handed it over to the National Enquirer in an attempt to ruin his Dad’s life, and (I’d assume) make a little money in the process. Great kid.

The conversation went a little something like this. Dog says, “I don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore or whatever. It's not because she's black, it's because we use the word nigger sometimes here. I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some fucking nigger heard us say nigger and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over! I'm not taking that chance at all! Never in life! Never! Never! If Lyssa [Dog's daughter] was dating a nigger, we would all say 'fuck you!' And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ya da da... it's not that they're black, it's none of that. It's that we use the word nigger. We don't mean you fucking scum nigger without a soul. We don't mean that shit. But America would think we mean that. And we're not taking a chance on losing everything we got over a racial slur because our son goes with a girl like that. I can't do that Tucker. You can't expect Gary, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids to [garbled] because 'I'm in love for 7 months' - fuck that! So, I'll help you get another job but you can not work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I can't handle that shit. I got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I got that girl saying she's gonna wear a recorder…”

Now that’s the full transcript, without anything deleted, or at least as near to it as I could find. I think one of the problems with this is that people aren’t actually getting the full transcript. What they’re getting instead is a version like this one, which I found on Fox news: “I don't care if she's a Mexican, a (EXPLETIVE DELETED), whatever. It's not because she's black. It's because we use the word (EXPLETIVE DELETED) sometimes here. I'm not going to take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for, for 30 years, because some (EXPLETIVE DELETED) heard us say (EXPLETIVE DELETED) and turned us into "Enquirer" magazine. Our career is over. If Lyssa was to date a (EXPLETIVE DELETED), we would all say (EXPLETIVE DELETED) you. And you know that.”

Sounds a lot worse with all those “Expletives Deleted” in there doesn’t it? The first time I read it, I automatically inserted the evil “N-Word” in all the places where it says that. Whoops. Apparently “whore” now counts as an expletive.

So now we’ve read the full transcript and Dog the Bounty Hunter is on the verge of losing his job, being forced to issue apologies and meet with community leaders, and basically his life is a living hell while idiots from every corner scream the word “racist” at him. Wait, what he said makes him a racist? I don’t get it. It seems to me that we’re stretching the definition of racism until it loses all meaning. Or maybe I just have the definition wrong. Let’s check… racist - a person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others.

Ok, great. Simple definition. So, Dog must think white people are the best right? So let’s look for the place where he says that. Hm. Don’t’ see it. Ok, maybe he thinks black people are inferior or he says something derogatory about Mexicans. Check for that… no. Sorry. Instead the guy seems to go out of his way to say that he doesn’t hate people of other races. So where is all the racism? All that’s there is Dog admitting to using a politically incorrect word. He’s not even using the word in a derogatory context. What the hell is going on here?

What’s racist about what he said? Crass? Absolutely. Insensitive? Definitely. Suspicious? Probably. Is he kind of a jerk to his son? For sure. On the other hand… he was also right. What he predicted did happen. Should Dog run around using the N-word? Hell no. But is he any different from every teenager, car mechanic, and cleaning lady in America? Probably not. Actually, he’s in pretty elite company with people like Jay Z and Chris Rock. I wish I had more in common with them.

You want a racist? Mel Gibson is a racist. In his racial tirade he blamed an entire race of people for half the ills in the world. All Dog did was use an inconvenient word, a word by the way, which was used pretty commonly around the time he was first cutting his teeth as a bounty hunter. Should he use it? Of course not. Does that make him a racist? If it does, I don’t see it.

Dog the Bounty Hunter may be a racist, but if he is we have no real proof of it. Instead, we have another instance of the mass celebrity hysteria that seems to sweep the country whenever there’s an opportunity to drag down someone who people perceive to be more successful than them. It’s the end of the world, just as Ayn Rand predicted it. Come on people, drop it. He’s not running for president; he’s just some big, dumb, alpha-male who got his own reality show and was screwed over by his scumbag of a son. Well welcome to reality, where big, dumb, brutish men who don’t know any better sometimes use the N-word in private conversations. You asked for reality, you got it. On with the show.