Over the course of history, humanity has suffered plenty of great losses. From the Library at Alexandria to the Ark of the Covenant, some of the greatest treasures ever created are no longer with us, and yesterday, we almost lost another priceless jewel. Vivid CEO Steve Hirsch’s private office caught on fire with, of all things, Kim Kardashian’s sex tape inside. Luckily, by the grace of the sex tape gods, it was miraculously saved.
According to TMZ, the fire happened on Saturday night while Hirsch was at the Clippers game. The police called to inform him the office was on fire. He raced back filled with worry the flames would engulf his private safe and take with them original copies of Kardashian’s tape along with those of Pam and Tommy Lee, Chyna, Jimi Hendrix and dozens more that haven’t yet been cleared for publication, but the heroic efforts of Los Angeles firefighters were able to keep the raging inferno under control.
In the end, no damage whatsoever was done to any of the tapes, meaning we could still get an unedited version of Kim’s romp in the future, as well as any members of the mystery bag that involve celebrities still too rich to sign off on the publication rights. Fingers crossed all of the above will happen sooner rather than later.
Pop Blend’s sincerest thoughts go out to all of the fine men and women in this country who have ever lost their personal sex tapes to fires. We acknowledge your pain, and we’re here for you.
Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, the NBA and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.
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