Pop singer Meghan Trainor made quite the stink (yup, that’s how this article is going to go) a few days ago when she announced on a podcast that she and her husband, actor Daryl Sabara, not only have two toilets in a bathroom in their house, but have used those twin thrones to poop at the same time on two occasions. Now, Trainor is clearing the air (remember, I did warn you) about whether or not she and her spouse actually poop together on said side-by-side toilets.
Alright, for a bit more of a recap, Meghan Trainor was talking about renovating her new home with her husband when the topic of their bathroom, which I will assume is a part of their master bedroom suite, came up. Trainor then noted that after seeing the bathroom, she asked the contractor to install another toilet very close to the original one. Her wish was granted, and Trainor added that she and Sabara had “only pooped together twice” since the change was made. Now, she’s clearing things up on Twitter, and noted:
To clear things up…we pooped ONCE together and we laughed and said never again…but he will hang out with me if I’m 💩ing cuz WE SOULMATES. And i legit miss him when I’m away from him. And we pee together obviOctober 6, 2021
Ahhhhh. OK, Meghan. OK. Apparently, Trainor would like us all to know that she and her hubby since 2018 have only truly dropped a deuce at side-by-side commodes one time, you guys. Just. ONCE. While that probably makes this, heretofore unheard of, dueling toilets situation slightly less odd for some people, I’ve gotta say, I don’t know if the “All About That Bass” songstress made things any better with what she said next.
According to Trainor, sometimes her husband will actually kinda…”hang out” with her if she’s engaging in a solo secretion sesh, and they usually pee together, “obvi.” Soooooo, now I have more questions than I did before, honestly.
At least if both of them are in there purging their poop, they’re both occupied, right? But, if one of them is going to the bathroom and the other isn’t...what they hell are they doing? Is Sabara scrolling on his phone while offering loving words of encouragement? Are they discussing plans for the day with their newborn son, Riley? Might they be staring into each other’s eyes for the ultimate “SOULMATES” experience? Do they talk about her poop? Like, is she giving updates as it all goes down? Meghan, what is happening in there?!
Look, being in long-term relationships can be difficult, so I really am cool with couples doing whatever they need to stay happy, as long as they’re not hurting anyone, and Trainor and Sabara are definitely not causing any harm here. But, also? I cannot, aside from a serious apocalypse situation where total privacy would be neither possible nor preferred, imagine engaging in this kind of activity.
If you’ve ever lived with anyone (even just family or a roommate), you’ve likely heard (or used) the phrase, “don’t go in there right now,” after a particularly eventful poopening has occurred. Do you really want to be in the room where it happens (Thanks, Hamilton!) AS it happens?
While I have misgivings about this number-two-as-a-twosome practice for my own personal life, I can certainly say that I’m glad it seems to be working for Meghan Trainor and Daryl Sabara when it comes to keeping the couple close. And, that’s much better than having to put something like “irreconcilable poops” down as a reason for divorce.
Bachelor Nation, Gilmore Girl; will Vulcan nerve pinch pretty much anyone if prompted with cheese...Yes, even Jamie Fraser.
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