The late Patrick Stewart was a celebrated dramatist, but he also had great comedic chops. It's something I don't think about often, until I saw that he wrote his own eulogy over a decade ago, and it's so hilarious.
For fans who need a break from the heartfelt tributes and touching stories, I implore you to check out his performance done for a Just for Laughs gala in 2015. Stewart took the stage to perform his own eulogy, but considering this was a comedy event, he had a twist in store for Trekkies:
Sir Patrick Stewart was more than just an actor, he was the greatest actor ever. He was also a husband, a father, and a friend. But most of all, he was an objectophile who achieved sexual congress with thousands of inanimate objects.
The audience burst into laughter because what else can you do at the end of that statement? Here's the guy who played one of the best Star Trek characters of all time, claiming he's having sex with furniture and other things.
It's something I'd never seen until after his passing, and I'm glad. All the sadness I had reading tributes and stories about his life is off to the side right now, as I listened to Stewart continue his hilarious bit:
As a boy, Sir Patrick entertained his classmates at Mirfield Secondary Modern School where he dutifully honed his craft as an actor, developing his now signature baritone voice and made sweet, secret lunch hour love to the janitor’s floor polishing machine.
It's one of those jokes that works really well because of who the one telling it is. So many co-stars have come through the woodwork in recent weeks talking about how sweet he was, and how humble an actor he was despite his fame. To think he'd have some odd, deviant behavior lurking beneath the surface as bizarre as this would be horrifying, and makes it so funny.
It's a funny eulogy, but it only worked in full if he was able to "land the plane" in terms of bringing it full circle. Fortunately the actor had the ultimate closer, revealing to the howling audience that they were sitting in chairs that he had defiled just minutes before their arrival:
In addition to winning the audience over with his wit, warmth, and humanity, Patrick also realized his final wish. Mere seconds before you, the audience entered, he rubbed his unwashed genitals on each and every seat of Montreal's Place Des Arts! Sir Patrick Stewart, you will be missed.
Many people will remember Patrick Stewart for Star Trek and X-Men, and rightfully so. That doesn't mean he didn't have memorable comedy roles, however, such as when he played King Richard in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. He also received an Emmy nomination for a guest role in Frasier, and he had a great night hosting Saturday Night Live.
There's a part of me sad that Patrick Stewart essentially worked up until his death, but also so grateful that he's left behind such a body of work to sift through. I still love hearing the touching stories and tributes about his life, but it's good to know I have this hilarious eulogy to look back on in the coming days to break up the sad moments.
CinemaBlend continues to offer condolences to the family and friends of Patrick Stewart. He made us laugh and cry, and it's nice to see evidence of that on the internet for all to see and enjoy.
