That's it. I'm done. With the long-awaited revelation of what Johnny Depp's Wolf will look like in Disney's adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods, I'm out. My hope has been slaughtered like the characters in this movie version may never be! (To allow for a family-friendly PG-rating, don't you know.)

How did I come to this place of hopelessness and despair? There was a time when I was eager to see Into The Woods' enthralling and rich Broadway musical of twisted fairy tales get a huge, shiny, big-screen translation. Let's step through the news that in turns won my interest and broke my heart with a helpful timeline. And GIFS. Naturally.

January 2010
Disney announces plans to have Rob Marshall direct Into the Woods, the same Rob Marshall who transformed the jazzy, sex-fueled Bob Fosse show Chicago into a sinfully fun and visually striking, six-time Oscar winner. Game on!


February 2013 The one and only Meryl Streep is set to play the evil Witch at the center of Into the Woods. In my opinion, Streep doesn't get enough credit or acclaim for her turns as devilish women (see Death Becomes Her, She-Devil). Yes, please!


April 2013 Johnny Depp enters into talks. The same Johnny Depp who has become a kind of parody of his former self, now turning in over-the-top performances like that seen in Dark Shadows. This was actually months before I saw Lone Ranger and penned my treatise on how Depp has become Mike Myers. Still, his increasingly cartoonish portrayals worry me.


May 2013
Casting heats up with Into the Woods adding Broadway star/Doctor Who standout James Corden as the hero Baker! Emily Blunt as his wandering wife! Chris Pine and Jake Gyllenhaal as the agonized princes! While the latter three have me wondering about the musical caliber of this movie musical, I'm intrigued…



Shall we continue? It's about to get slightly better before it gets worse.

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