On first glance, Dolittle doesn’t really seem like the type of movie you could spoil, and after having seen it, that’s mostly true. There’s not a Keyser Soze a-ha moment, but I also feel weird discussing in gross and smelly detail something that happens in the third act of a movie. So, I’m going to go ahead and throw up a spoiler warning here. If you have not seen Dolittle and want those secrets protected so you can go in smelling as fresh as possible, then you should X out and bail. If you have seen the movie or just don’t care, then let’s talk about the moment with the dragon.
I’m going to try and remain as serious as possible so this article doesn’t just devolve into dumb jokes like this one. Wish me fart. In short, the scene in question involves our beloved title character Dr. Dolittle and a rather ornery dragon. The mythical creature keeps lashing out and aggressively farting. Dolittle recognizes something is wrong, and he’s correct! There’s a blockage. She’s angry at the world because she can’t poop! Or at least poop properly and without pain, I’m not a hundred percent clear here. Anyway, Dolittle gets his hand and most of his arm up in there and pulls bagpipes out of the dragon’s ass, who suddenly feels as light and happy as a dragon who just pooped out bagpipes.
The whole vibe is dumb on purpose; so, I’m not going to say the scene is off-tone. It feels like it’s in the right movie, but there comes a moment, just after the bagpipes come out, in which most decent people will suddenly stop and need to mentally confirm that, yes, that did just happen. Not surprisingly, many viewers felt the need to commiserate with others about the dump they witnessed. My favorites are the ones that are so horrified they just explain what happened because no joke or analysis is actually needed.
I mean... what else is there to even say? I think Screen Rant's Ryan George sums it up pretty nicely above on Twitter. None of us would have guessed what came out the other end when the movie was first announced (though there was a lot of confusion after the first trailer), but now that we live in a world where Robert Downey Jr, John Cena and the Tony-winning Frances de la Tour (who voices the dragon) joined forces to create this scene, we need to come to terms with it and move on in a healthy way.
Here's another tweet that gets across the same point...
There's a ton more on Twitter if you feel like exploring, but I'm going to end with io9's official Twitter account, which was so floored by the creative decision that it was used as the tagline to try and get people to click on the review. If there's a more succinct way to explain how shitty a movie is, I don't think I've seen one...
On another note, I seem to have hated Dolittle less than most other critics. To be clear, I did not enjoy it and would not recommend other people go see it. It's not a good movie by any stretch of the asshole, but it at least kept my attention and caused me to smile a few times. Michael Sheen also seems to be having fun and that translates a bit. If your kid really wants to see it, I'm not going to tell you not to go. It's a fine enough way to spend an hour and 40 minutes, and some people are showing up, though not as many as the studio would like. That being said, I seriously question a lot of the creative choices that were made and I think there was a better movie in there somewhere. I'm also pretty confident that better movie doesn't involve dragons crapping out musical instruments and the strange accent Robert Downey Jr was going for.