Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin Announce Break-Up In Pretentious Open Letter

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are a power couple no more. The two officially announced today that they’re going in separate directions and will live apart from this point forward. The specifics concerning the why or whys haven’t been made public, but judging by the tone of their joint statement, it seems like the two will make no further efforts to reconcile.

The announcement was first made on Paltrow’s fashion website (opens in new tab) in a post entitled “Conscious Uncoupling”. Were it not for the break-up the post outlines, that steaming pile of pretentiousness would probably be the story of the day, but alas, the obnoxious art school title has been overwhelmed by the subject matter. You can check out an excerpt from the note below…

”We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.”

Over the course of their decade plus rating, Paltrow and Martin were the subjects of numerous rumors, many involving her allegedly cheating. Maybe there was some fire behind all that smoke, or maybe, she was a victim of her own fame and the fact that she was open about having quite a few high profile male friends. After all, if every woman with close male friends was actually cheating, there wouldn’t be a ton of marriages left.

Beyond all the rumors, these two had what seemed like a pretty fulfilling relationship for years. They had two children, achieved incredible heights in their careers and had a lot of fun together. Hopefully, regardless of why the relationship ended, these two will be able to focus on all of those wonderful memories rather than the problems that appeared later.

Pop Blend’s sincerest thoughts go out to the children during this upsetting time.

Mack Rawden
Editor In Chief

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.