WARNING: THERE IS DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE AND DOMESTIC ABUSE IN THIS ARTICLE
Death Of The Pastor's Wife, which you can watch right now with a Netflix subscription, hit me a lot differently than most of the true crime series that I watch. One fair critique of all the true crime documentaries and podcasts is that they kind of serve to desensitize us to the actual crime sometimes. We get so wrapped up in the whodunnit, we sometimes lose focus on the tragedy. This new docuseries doesn’t really have a mystery at its core, at least not the way I see it, but the consequences of the death hit me hard.
A Controlling Husband And Mental Illness
Death Of The Pastor's Wife focuses on the death of Mica Miller, the wife of Pastor John Paul “TJ” Miller. Mica died by suicide on April 27, 2024. She called police from Lumber River State Park in North Carolina before hanging up the phone and, using a firearm she’d purchased hours before and taking her own life. The series starts with the phone call and before taking us back in time to walk viewers through Mica’s life and eventual marriage to TJ. TJ was 15 years older than Mica and had known her since she was a teenager in his church.
The two were married for seven years, and, as presented in the true crime docuseries, it was not a happy marriage. According to Mica, TJ was abusive both sexually and physically. The series also explains that Mica was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was prescribed lithium to help her. This was exacerbated by TJ’s controlling behavior, even if at times he did seem to try to help. What really went on behind the closed doors of their marriage is still a bit of a mystery because they were both careful to present themselves in a very positive way, both publicly and with their friends. However, many friends and family saw through that.
Murder Or Suicide
The series presents the death of Mica as either murder or suicide. This is where it differed for me. I didn’t see it as a mystery, as many true crime documentaries on the 2026 TV schedule and podcasts are. I believe that Mica died by suicide, and that is particularly hard for me to process. Anytime someone dies this way, and I’ve had two close friends who have died this way, it leaves me baffled and shattered. Whatever the reason.
In this case, though, the reasons are especially heartbreaking because while I don’t think TJ murdered his wife, I do firmly believe that many of his actions led Mica to that lonely riverside in Lumber River State Park. Or at least, they didn’t prevent her from buying the handgun, making that long drive, and taking her own life. I’m not a psychiatrist, and I don’t know what is in TJ's heart and mind, but the series paints a very ugly picture of his behavior before and after Mica’s death.
While there was no mystery to this true crime story, the series still crushed me. As I said, I have a hard time reconciling anyone's suicide, and like many of Mica's friends and family, it's something I will probably never come to terms with, whether it's someone like Mica or someone in my life. It's hard.
If you need help, or know someone who does, please call or text “988” for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
