Sometimes It’s hard to remember a time when we didn’t know Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka were one of Hollywood’s it couples. Or when we didn’t get epic Halloween family costumes or the Gone Girl actor posting embarrassing TikToks. But hearing his story about why he felt compelled to come out during his time on HIMYM is a reminder that we have come a long way over the past few years. And it’s actors like Harris who have helped pave the way.
Harris dished to Jamie Laing on his Great Company podcast about the time in his life when he first moved to New York, where he learned to “live life with a capital L.” Specifically how this greatly contrasted to how he felt as a child actor in Los Angeles. So when Laing asked him if being in the industry and being famous (he was Doogie Howser after all) made coming out a “tough moment” for him, I just knew his answer would make me emotional. When speaking about coming out NPH shared:
It was an inevitability at the time, right? I started dating David, who is now my husband, David Burtka well before I auditioned for How I Met Your Mother. And when I got that job everyone on that show knew David, knew that we were a couple. But that was at a time when there were bloggers on the internet that you would go to to read the salacious… You know, try to guess who this actor is that’s gay and in the closet kind of comments, right?
In hindsight, this does feel inevitable, especially when Burtka eventually appeared on HIMYM. He played Scooter, Lily’s clingy high school boyfriend, in several episodes that were scattered throughout the series. The sitcom was known to feature each of their respective partners on the show. But despite his cast and crew aware of their relationship, Harris shares some insight into the fear he felt at the time.
The potential comments influenced him when he and Burtka would attend premieres together, with Harris walking the carpet and his now-husband would go around to the other side of photographers. The actor remembers how things quickly shifted:
And then sure enough the target came towards me in a very weird way. A comment had come out that I had said that I wasn’t of that persuasion, which was the quoted phrase. Someone asked a publicist about my sexuality and the publicist said I was ‘not of that persuasion.’ That turned into a ‘That’s weird for him to say because we know that he’s gay and why is he doing that?’
I do remember there not being a HUGE reaction to the news, which he describes as being indifferent. He credits this to actors how had come out prior to him that “had a much harder time” having paved the way for him. Though perhaps Harris did the same for actors that came out after he did. However, I think people are still talking about HIMYM’s controversial ending more than anything about Harris' sexuality.
His story reminds me of Heartstopper star Kit Connor’s story about feeling pressured to come out. This occurred after fans had allegedly accused him of "queerbaiting," which ultimately made him feel forced to define his sexuality. In a similar fashion, Harris speaks about working with his team to craft a statement that “was authentic” to who he was and his paranoia about what “stigma” would come as a result. He shares:
And so then it became ‘I have to say something. I’ve got to get ahead of this story. Cuz I don’t want to be coming out in reaction to if anyone has any information about Neil Patrick Harris. And have you ever slept with him, please come forward.’ Right? You don’t want those stories.
Thankfully, there has been a notable shift. Even networks such as Hallmark are entering inclusive eras and I love to see it. I also love seeing Harris being able to embrace who he is, which shows in everything he does. Whether it’s reprising his role as Barney in the Hilary Duff-led How I Met Your Father or killing it (no pun intended) as The Toymaker in Doctor Who’s 60th Anniversary. No matter what, Harris always makes everything feel authentic and fun in a way that only he can. And I'm sure part of that is connected to the journey he had BTS of HIMYM.
Personally I can't wait to see what he's going to do next. Or what photos he and Burtka will post next.
