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Spoiler warning, I guess, for anyone who hasn't watched the Floribama Shore season premiere.
MTV's big Jersey Shore spinoff premiered last night, and when it came to outrageous moments, Floribama Shore did not balk. While everyone got a little sloppy on their first night in the Panama City Beachouse, none were wilder than 21-year-old Kortni Gilson, who got so blindingly blitzed that she managed to pee all over someone else's bed! For "MTV reality star behavior," a drunken bed-pee may not sound so outrageous, but there's really no appreciating just how much of a trainwreck the moment was unless you watched it.
The whole thing started with Kortni Gilson going way harder on the booze than the rest of her housemates, presumably trying to make a good first impression. Despite repeated warnings from the rest of the cast to slow down, lest she pass out before ever making it to the clubs, Gilson continued to pound shots and drinks until it was time to go out. When the cab arrived, she was out like a light, so she was placed in her bed and left to sleep off her first night of house-drinking while the rest of the Floribama Shore cast went off to a local bar.
While the majority of the Floribama Shore cast partied away, Kortni suddenly awoke to a rumbling in her tummy, and the house camera captured it all as she stood up and, with both hands on her knees looking, looked like she would almost certainly blow chunks every which direction, but then things took a surprising turn. She dropped her shorts around her ankles, sat down on roommate Candace Rice's bed, and began profusely urinating to the point it went onto the floor and rug. Relieved, and seemingly unaware of anything that just happened, Gilson fell back asleep ON THE BED SHE PEED IN. The cast returned home, slowly realizing what happened in a hilarious scene:
When the Steve Rogers-esque Jeremiah Buoni put his nose an inch away from the wet spot and started huffing it to see if it's really was pee? That was simply amazing. While he receives no points for investigation tactics, the Floribama Shore cast member does get extra props for offering up his bed to Candace, who was not about to sleep in Kortni's pee. And you know what? The potty-party culprit woke up the next morning and denied the event ever happened.
Unfortunately for her, the cameras were rolling and now there's no denying Kortni is Floribama Shore's resident bed-wetter. Now that she has seen the footage, Gilson was embarrassed, but noted that she's not the only reality star to have peed everywhere but a toilet on MTV before:
I think Snooki peed herself. That makes me feel a lot better about myself!
It's true. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi also peed herself on national television, although it's hard to say whose outing was worse. On the Jersey Shore, Snooki got too excited dancing with her friends and inexplicably lost control of her bladder on the dance floor. Is peeing in public worse, or does fully dropping your pants and peeing in another person's bed take the cake? The fact that this debate can happen really showcases what a magical time 2017 is for television.
And so it will continue to be, as Floribama Shore airs Mondays at 10 p.m. ET on MTV. Those who love that will also love the news that the Jersey Shore cast is also coming back to MTV with a new series of their own. For more on upcoming programming, be sure to visit our fall premiere guide and midseason premiere guide to stay up to date on the latest and greatest television offerings. For a list of shows that got canceled in 2017, head here.