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kent brockman

Certain expectations come with watching local news reports. You know you're going to see the worst possible crimes committed in the area. You know you're going to get a fairly cheesy weather report. And you know you're going to get a few seconds of blacked-out video while an obscene audio clip is heard. Wait, no, that's not how things normally go. But such was the case for one NBC affiliate in Texas, where one of the news station employees was fired after a recent broadcast got derailed by some sex-infused audio.

An unidentified employee for KRIS Communications was fired from the company, while another employee was suspended, for the hyper-explicit clip that aired during a live newscast on the evening of Monday, March 19. As evening anchor Stephania Jimenez was reporting on the harbor bridge project in the area, the newsfeed cut to a black screen as a man's gruff voice was heard saying, "Smell it. Finger it. Fuck it. Lick it. Smell it." You can watch the clip in the video below, but know that it's obviously NSFW, and it's just generally disturbing anyway.

#smellitCC aka "That's the night that the news got hacked in Corpus"

Here it is Corpus Christi. THAT VIDEO. "Remember that one time the news blacked-out and a creepy man's voice said 'fuck it, lick it, smell it'?!??!? I love this damn city." SO MANY QUESTIONS, Y'ALL. But mostly just realizing CC is the real life version of Pawnee, Indiana from Parks & Rec. I don't even think Amy Poehler could write this kind of gold. Can't wait for more investigative coverage. Stay tuned cuz I'm gonna uncover the truth, y'all. The Boomer Rumor #smellitCC #OhCorpus #YourCorpusIsShowing

Posted by Korbin Boomer Matthews on Monday, March 19, 2018

Pretty horrifying, right? It's akin to answering the phone for some heavy-breathing perv's prank call. And the fact that KRIS isn't unveiling all of the details behind the R-rated glitch is all the more unnerving, since we need to know what the hell happened here. According to a statement released by News Director Paul Alexander, it was one of the station's reporters whose voice was heard, though he gave no sign of what weirdness was involved. You can read part of the statement below.

We sincerely regret the error and apologize to our viewers that were watching on Monday evening. We immediately began an investigation of the mistake and how it occurred. We learned that a series of technical and human errors lead [sic] to the mistake. We have taken swift and appropriate action with the employees who were involved in the broadcast in accordance with our company policies. That action included a termination, a suspension, and reprimands.

Maybe Netflix will be interested in picking up the spinoff series, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Technical and Human Errors. Or maybe not.

Because live TV will probably always be in the hands of the fallible humans putting it all together, the world will likely be shocked and bamboozled by wild audio and lewd visuals on our local news for years to come. We're also down with more reports about older dudes punching bears in the face.

When you're not keeping up with all the goings-on in your local area, head to our midseason premiere schedule to see all the new and returning shows hitting the small screen soon.