Outside of their extremely lucrative careers, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen usually make headlines for things they aren't doing rather than things they are doing, with their highly publicized absence from Netflix's Fuller House being a prime example. Because the twins' personal lives are kept so private (understandably so), it's always a jolt to the senses when one or both of them make public appearances. Or, in this case, when one of them is in a context-free viral photo while holding a machete and what appears to be a boozy drink. And if you thought the Olsens' good buddy John Stamos might have mercy on our curiosity with an answer, think again.
John Stamos appeared on Today this week to promote his upcoming true crime podcast, The Grand Scheme: Snatching Sinatra, which will take the Rat Pack enthusiast on a deep dive into the kidnapping of Frank Sinatra Jr. back in 1963, with focus on the kidnapper himself, Barry Keenan. But any investigative skills that Stamos picked up via the podcast did not help when trying to decode what was happening in the shot of Ashley Olsen, which first appeared online via her boyfriend Louis Eisner's Instagram Stories. Here's how Stamos put it in an amusingly stammering fashion:
Yeah, I'm not su... I have... I don't... I haven't talked to them in a while. Maybe is it getting ready for Halloween or something? I dunno. I have no comment. [Smiles.]
For those who may not have seen the image flying around the Internet's more wooded areas recently, check it out below.
Clearly, this is like three or four moods rolled up into one look, and the mystery of it is 100% part of the allure. Because really, what single answer could be satisfying enough? That Ashley Olsen is the titular monster in a new Blair Witch sequel or Friday the 13th reboot? Or that she's filming a new reality series where she gets hammered and goes hunting down cryptozoological creatures? Actually, I guess those might do the trick, but neither option is likely in the slightest. I'm pretty sure John Stamos would get an EP credit on that show if it existed, and he clearly didn't know about it. (Which is probably not the most convincing piece of proof here, but still.)
Or wait, maybe this is Ashley Olsen filming a music video "sequel" to the diss track that she and Mary-Kate recorded in the '90s that poked fun at younger sister Elizabeth Olsen, who went on to become Wanda "Scarlet Witch" Maximoff in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Maybe net weekend, we'll see a pic of the WandaVision star walking through the woods while holding a pint of beer and a mace.
Hell, it would also be cool if this were a behind-the-scenes shot of a new adult version of The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley, or a follow-up to one of their feature films from that era. But when it comes down to it, it was probably just Ashley Olsen being fashionable and having a drink while holding a machete because she wanted to, without any other reasons being necessary. (That said, if reports crop up of a dead Sasquatch being found in the area Olsen was walking through, we'll know what happened.)
Wanna hear John Stamos talk about something that he understands better than the pic above? Check out The Grand Scheme: Snatching Sinatra when the podcast debuts on all podcast platforms on July 27, with all episodes already available for Wondery+ subscribers.