We’ve all got those characters that we hate, love and really love. Nothing so perfectly showcases that then the game fuck, marry, kill in which you must assign which of these actions you’d like to do to three different characters. It’s an illuminating game to play with friends and hilarious to watch with celebrities. That’s the case today because we’ve got a video of Patrick Stewart deciding between three characters from his former show Star Trek: The Next Generation that he’d like to fuck, marry, and kill.


This video comes from Variety as a part of their "Variety Studios: Actors on Actors" project in which two actors discuss a wide range of topics with each other. This particular segment features Thomas Middleditch from HBO’s Silicon Valley interviewing Patrick Stewart from Starz’s Blunt Talk. The two then engaged in a game of Star Trek themed fuck, marry, kill where Middleditch gave Stewart (who's always down for play) three of his former co-stars: Will Riker, Counselor Deanna Troi, or the android Data.

After exclaiming, “Lord, this is a complicated question”, the delightfully confused Patrick Stewart singled out Will Riker as the one to kill, explaining that, “he’s big and scary and very dominating.” At the end of the day, that’s a pretty easy choice but it’s the shag and marry parts of the game that people really care about. Stewart chose Deanna Troi as his wife, which left the android Data as his one-night stand. Stewart’s explanation for picking Data is pretty much perfect.

There was an episode where he had to present his sexual equipment for discussion. Brent Spiner, who is a wonderful actor and a very funny man, used to say, ‘he’s fully functional, in fact he has three speeds.'”

Patrick Stewart mimicking Data’s sex gears churning is amazing and so is Thomas Middleditch’s delightful reaction to the whole thing. Based on that, Data is the clear choice. I’m sure that that level of logic and reasoning is something that Data would appreciate.



Variety’s "Actors on Actors" is a one on one discussion between this year's Emmy contenders. The full segment will air over the span of two nights, the first on June 12 and the second on June 19. Some of the actors who will appear are Kerry Washington, Aziz Ansari, Jay Duplass, Jaime Lee Curtis, and Emilia Clarke among several others. You can watch the series through Variety.com.

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