According to legend – or, you know, the catchy theme song for the 1960s animated series – Spider-Man does whatever a spider can. Spins a web? Any size. Pull off a mid-air flip and land on his face? If this video can be considered canon, then yes.
OK, so this isn’t the real Spider-Man. It’s not even Asa Butterfield, who may one day become Spider-Man. Instead, this is a costumed "hero" hired to entertain at a child’s birthday party in Argentina. And based on the giggles and hoots that accompany the bone-crushing, soul-sucking sound of this poor dude’s face hitting the floor, his mission was accomplished. You sick, sick kids. The embarrassing video has gone viral, of course. We found it on Live Leak. Skip to the 1:00 mark if you want to see gravity accomplish what a string of super-powered villains (and a terrible Sam Raimi sequel) never actually could.
"Slippery hallway floors!" Kraven the Hunter screams at the sky. "Why didn’t I think of that?!"
Yes, we know that this isn’t the type of Spider-Man video you want to see. Given the amount of footage that’s currently flying off of the Captain America: Civil War set, you really want to see everyone’s favorite Web slinger fighting alongside Cap (Chris Evans), Falcon (Anthony Mackie), War Machine (Don Cheadle), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and the rest of our favorite Avengers. The only issue with that, right now, is that as far as we know, Marvel and Sony haven’t agreed on a new actor to wear the Spider-Man suit. We know that they want to go younger, finding an actor in his teens (or early 20s) who can convincingly play high-school-aged Peter Parker. Asa Butterfield has been rumored, and may end up being the guy. If this video above was the audition reel for the Argentinian actor, I think he can safely call his agent and tell him he’s out of running for the Untitled Spider-Man movie reaching theaters in 2017.
Let's give the guy in the costume some credit. Prior to pushing his nose through the floor tiles, he pulled off a number of difficult flips and spins. He was crushing it, from an amateur-spidey standpoint. Knowing how this goes, he’ll make the rounds on a few late-night talk shows, maybe attempt to recapture his viral-video glory, and probably sleep with a bag of ice on the bridge of his nose for the next few weeks.
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Sean O’Connell is a journalist and CinemaBlend’s Managing Editor. Sean created ReelBlend, which he proudly cohosts with Jake Hamilton and Kevin McCarthy. And he's the author of RELEASE THE SNYDER CUT, the Spider-Man history book WITH GREAT POWER, and an upcoming book about Bruce Willis.