Have you looked outside lately? It’s like the aftereffects of a Thor-splosion. Everywhere you look, there are Thor advertisements, Thor commercials and Thor action figures. Even Disneyland has fallen under Asgard’s spell. Given the meaty foreign box office numbers, it appears as though the shotgun advertising has worked on most people, but all the giant pictures of the Norse God have caused me to conclude something other than I-must-see-this-movie: Chris Hemsworth needs to rock long hair on the regular for the rest of his life.
I mean seriously. Look at that grizzled handsomeness. With the beard and the flowing blonde mane, he looks like the first caveman model, the type of dude who could beat a woolly mammoth to death with his bare hands and then pose for cave drawings at night. That’s not to say he looks unattractive with short hair, but why look like a burly accountant when you have the capability of looking like a Swedish war hero?
At some point or another, the majority of Hollywood actors with long-term, sustained careers decide to rock long hair for a role. Sometimes, those newly flowing locks look comfortable, handsome and even intimidating. Sometimes they look dreadful, awkward and stupid. More often than not, they look like a nice little change-up. So, in honor of Thor, let’s walk down memory lane by taking a look at some shaggy manes, whether naturally grown or wig supported, and discussing whether or not they should ever return.
In no particular order…
Long Hair Tom Cruise, Interview With A Vampire
Comparison: Short Hair Tom Cruise, OblivionYou can look as far and/ or away as you’d like and you probably won’t ever find a bigger Tom Cruise apologist than me. Find me a film he’s been in and I can’t guarantee I’ll defend it, but I will almost certainly defend his performance in it. He’s one of the few full-on old Hollywood-type movie stars we have left. That being said, he needs to keep his hair short. That is an overly effeminate, hideous blonde mess you’re looking at above, and somehow, it’s actually better than his is-it-long-is-it-short, tight against the side of his head disaster from Magnolia. His shaggy, somewhat unkempt hair is passable in Last Samurai and Rock Of Ages, but that’s less a compliment and more a pleasant surprise. Even if it all comes together as it did in MI: 2, it's still not better than his run of the mill short cut, as seen in Oblivion.
Long Hair Score: D