Without a doubt, one of television's most celebratory events of 2021 thus far has been the return of Christopher Meloni's Elliot Stabler, who popped onto Law & Order: SVU recently before anchoring the ratings-winning debut of the Stabler-centric spinoff subtitled Organized Crime. While Meloni is undeniably great in everything he does, from Wet Hot American Summer to Happy! and beyond, his work in the Law & Order franchise is what draws the biggest crowds. And yes, some of the people in that crowd enjoy Stabler for more than just his detective skills, if you catch my driffy-drift.
Yes, there appears to be a sizable legion of Law & Order: SVU fans for whom Christopher Meloni and/or Elliot Stabler are pure eye candy on top of the talent. Meloni is on Twitter for all the thirst, too, and he's been giving fans some hilarious responses to their rawr-infused comments. For instance, this back-and-forth in response to a tweet claiming Meloni's butt can be used as an emergency floatation device in case of a water landing:
If slow-clapping were as effective in text as in real life, I would be typing that out now. In the first place, blessed be Christopher Meloni for not raining a bit of judgment down on this Twitter user for seeking out the actor's hindquarters as an emergency device. Then in the second place, I love that he basically made everyone visualize the act of stretching his butt to go around someone's neck, which is a perfectly ridiculous thought. It's so ridiculous, in fact, that I'm not even going to address the "blow into the tube" double entendre. Moving on...
A growing number of fans are referring to Christopher Meloni's buttocks as his birthday cake, a description that often accompanies a picture of the actor's protruding rump. And the Law & Order: Organized Crime star is perfectly game to play along with the theming.
Similar to the plastic babies hiding out in king cakes at Mardi Gras, there's a phone and wallet hidden in King Stabler's cake. I'm not sure if that means finding them makes you responsible for buying the next one, but there's probably some tradition involved. With Christopher Meloni's birthday cake butt. (Which is probably a psychedelic rock band's name already.)
One such tweet referring to Christopher Meloni's backside as a cake took a strange metaphor-dropping turn when a woman in her 70s casually wondered whether or not the actor's cake was a fuzzy one.
Not that age is any kind of a limiting factor when it comes to grazing for Stabler's booty. In fact, one fan pointed out that the actor isn't exactly boasting a spring chicken's ass himself, and Meloni had a fantastic response.
It's also worth noting that when one Twitter user clarified that his butt avoided animal cruelty, Christopher Meloni claimed that it "roams free." Can't nobody hold him down.
Sometimes fans' hornball inquiries expand beyond just the glute area – though admittedly not THAT often – and they want to know what kind of effect the entirety of Christopher Meloni has on the tastebuds.
Gotta love seeing that Twitter user's handle being "Kinky Meloni." Nothing blatantly obvious about that one. I'm not even sure I know what lithium tastes like, but it's probably not so bad compared to baby powder.
Here's hoping that Law & Order: Organized Crime, as well as those future SVU crossovers, can give audiences enough libido-exploding Meloni/Stabler action to last the six-day stretch between episodes. Find out if Stabler and Benson will ever bring their two cakes together romantically (lol) every Thursday night when SVU and Organized Crime air back to back.