Warning! The following contains spoilers for the 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? episode "Love Takes Hostages." Read at your own risk!
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? has been promoting Julia Trubkina's freakout on husband Brandon Gibbs and his close friend Melanie for weeks now, and the latest episode finally showed viewers what all was happening with that situation. Ahead of the blow-up, we were aware that Julia felt suspicions that the latter two were flirting, but that had nothing to do with it. When the episode actually reached the anticipated moment, I was disappointed to find out Julia's reaction was in reality her response to being asked the classic "Are you doing this for a green card?" question that so many before her have been angered by.
For those who missed it, Brandon and Julia met up with Melanie and her boyfriend for drinks, and Julia inevitably showed a bit of jealousy at the fact they were hanging out with a woman who'd known Brandon longer than he'd known Julia. But that wasn't the whole story, despite the deceptively edited preview. When Julia finally flew off the handle, it was when Melanie questioned her motive for being in the U.S., and even lightly implied Julie used Brandon to acquire a green card. Melanie must not have watched their inaugural season to see how much Julia hated life on the farm.
90 Day Fiancé fans may be desensitized to the 'green card' accusation by now, because it literally emerges in each and every storyline at some point or another. Typically, it comes out when a friend or family member will voice during an on-camera interview that they think the significant other is just in it for the green card and access to U.S. citizenship, and then more drama ensues when the friend or family member directly asks if that's the case. The result is predictably bad, and I think it's time we acknowledge what an unbelievably rude and awful question it is to ask, even on a show that is known for that kind of content.
Brandon's friend Melanie essentially told Julia, whom she'd apparently just met, that she believed Julia was a morally bankrupt person who used a man's feelings for a free ride to America. Regardless of the vibes she actually got from Julia, who wasn't being that welcoming to Melanie, that was an objectively awful thing to say.
Yet, we literally hear it all the time so casually that it rarely gets the kinds of reactions from the 90 Day Fiancé fandom that those questions deserve. Melanie was 100% in the wrong for suggesting anything about Julia's intentions, especially without any kind of actual proof, and Julia was absolutely right not only to be upset that it was asked, but also that Brandon didn't defend her in the moment.
Julia also made a great point that it's a stupid question to ask. If Julia was indeed scamming Brandon and really just wanted a green card so she could live in America, why in the hell would she suddenly announce her truths there at the table? Does anyone ever ask this question thinking they're going to catch someone that will be shamed into confessing everything? It's just rude to suggest, and sometimes it's just as insulting to the domestic person in the couple, since it implies the relationship isn't valid and that they've been fooled this whole time. Not what you want your friends and family thinking.
I know Julia Trubkina isn't the first person to be accused of being a scammer, and she certainly won't be the last in 90 Day Fiancé's long run. As a fan, I just wish the producers and future cast members would acknowledge how offensive the questioning is and why it's best to stop anyone and everyone from even asking. Of course, the show would become a whole lot less dramatic without those blind and non-contextual accusations, but I believe calling it out is for the greater good, and would benefit all the 90 Day Fiancé couples yet to come.
90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? airs on TLC Sundays at 8:00 p.m. ET. As mentioned, Julia Trubkina is only the latest cast member to be accused of scamming an American for a green card, and when compared to some veterans of the franchise like Andrei Castravet, her confrontation could've been a lot worse.